


Gotta have faith

by arxiver



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: (off screen), (sort of), Alpha Steve Rogers, Alpha/Omega, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dubious Consent, HYDRA wins, Happy Ending, Knotting, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mpreg, Omega Bucky Barnes, Omega Verse, Prison, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sex Pollen, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-26
Updated: 2017-10-01
Packaged: 2018-12-31 20:23:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 33,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12140400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arxiver/pseuds/arxiver
Summary: Hydra takes over the world, and Steve and Bucky are the first Avengers to be captured. After months of torture, they are brought back together. And then Bucky goes into heat.Or the story of how Bucky gets pregnant through sex pollen, and learns to love his child before Hydra takes it away. Can he get out and save his child from a life raised under Hydra?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is very different than most of my previous works. If you follow me, this is not the fluff you might be expecting. This story is much darker. And contains more porn. But there is still cuddling and fluffy feelings. I'm a little nervous posting this, so I hope people like it.
> 
> Trigger warning for Rape/non-con elements. There is a lot of dubiously consensual sex in this thanks to sex pollen and omega verse heats.

Bucky is exhausted by the torture, so he doesn’t even fight as they drag him down the corridor past rows of empty cells. They dump him in a cell that’s the largest he’s seen so far; the closest to luxury he’s gotten in the months since he’s been captured.

He and Steve were the first of the Avengers to go. He can only imagine what happened to the rest. After Hydra reared its head once more and claimed the presidency, the Avengers were declared criminals and they all went into hiding. They watched with little hope as each world government fell to Hydra. The Avengers only had so many people, and very little support after they went into hiding. They fought where they could, but they were clearly spread thin.

Steve and Bucky were investigating a Hydra cell in Qatar when they were captured. Bucky doesn’t know how they were found to be there, but he knows they were efficiently knocked out by gas meant for superhumans. He can only assume the rest of the Avengers were ambushed in similar ways.

Since then his life has consisted of torture, every day. He’s lost track of the days, but he knows it must have been months by now. They are trying to get him to convert, but failing. Bucky smiles when he knows why. He and Steve met Steven Strange about a year ago. They man was able to put a block on their brains so that the chair won’t work anymore. They are resistant to it. When Hydra figured that out, the torture increased. But Bucky has worked for Hydra for long enough; even torture won’t get him to do it again.

The door opens again and another figure is dragged into the cell. The guards drop him on the other side of the room with his head facing away. But Bucky would know that build anywhere. Too broad shoulders and a tiny waist. “Steve,” he croaks. His voice is cracked with misuse and dehydration. He licks his lips and tries again. “Steve,” he says a bit louder. But there is still no response from the figure opposite him.

Bucky resolves that he’ll have to get up from his current position. That thought is easier than the action though; he’s still pretty banged up. But he gets up on his elbows and drags himself over to the other man he believes is his best friend. When he finally arrives, he turns the man over to face him, and sure enough, it’s Steve. He looks a mess, definitely having been tortured in the last few hours. Steve’s healing factor is fast, so it must have been brutal.

He gently drags his hand over Steve’s face. He wishes he could do something, but he’s barely keeping upright himself and knows he will have to lie down again quite soon. He lowers himself down next to Steve and drapes an arm around his friend. They’ve been this close before, but not since the war. Certainly not since Bucky came back from his time with Hydra. That seemed to taint all their interactions in the time since. But now it seems right. Steve would be comforted until he woke up.

Steve wakes up with a start a few hours later with Bucky still surrounding him. He turns around to face Bucky, and seeing that it is him, he tries to crack a smile on his broken face. “Buck,” he breathes, just loud enough for Bucky to hear.

“Hey,” Bucky breathes back. He cups Steve’s face again, trying to avoid the worst of the damage there. “How are you feeling?”

“You’re here,” is all Steve says, and tries to reach out to Bucky.

Bucky grabs his arm and stops him. “You need rest, Steve. Just lie there.”

“I’m not very good at doing that,” Steve says, seeming to get a little strength back as he wakes up. “I thought you were dead.”

“Yeah,” Bucky agrees. “I haven’t seen you in months either. I also feared you were dead. But I had no proof, so I kept on hoping.”

“You had faith,” Steve tells him. “I don’t know where I lost mine.”

“Somewhere in the midst of the intense torture, I’m sure,” Bucky sarcastically replies.

“Not helping,” Steve says as he sags back to the floor. He closes he eyes and rests for a few moments, but quickly opens them again. “Why did they bring us together?”

“That is a good question,” Bucky replies. “I don’t think I’m going to like the answer.”

“Well I don’t care right now,” Steve says. “I’m just glad to know you’re alive.”

“Come here,” Bucky says, not actually wanting Steve to move, but just suggesting the act of them coming together. Bucky wraps his arms around Steve once more. “Just rest now.”

Two days later, their healing factors have healed them both, for the most part. Bucky still aches down to his bones, but he knows he can get up and walk around, which is better than he’s been in months. But instead of getting up, he’s still wrapped around Steve. Now Steve can move though, and he’s holding Bucky just as hard as Bucky is holding him.

Steve breathes the scent gland at the base of Bucky’s neck. They’re an Alpha and Omega pair, but they’ve never been together. They’re best friends and always have been, so it’s a little weird that Steve is scenting Bucky. “Whoa there buddy,” Bucky says as he pulls away. “I’m not your Omega.”

Steve looks properly chided when he apologizes. “Sorry, you just smell so good. And your neck was right there.”

“Well as long as you don’t start thinking I’m a pretty dame that it’s your right to claim.”

“I would never think that!” Steve exclaims. “You know that.”

“Yes, Steve,” Bucky calms him down. “I know you. I know you don’t treat Omega’s like that.” He gets closer to Steve again and puts a hand on his shoulder. “You’re the best guy I’ve ever met.”

Steve, however, looks conflicted. “Uh, Bucky. I don’t suppose you’re on suppressants.”

“No,” Bucky replies hesitantly. “Why?”

Steve looks like he doesn’t want to say, but he spits it out anyway. “I think you’re in pre-heat. That’s why you smell so good to me.”

Bucky recoils instantly. He drags himself all the way to the far wall. “Shit! I knew they were up to something. Fucking Hydra!” He drags a hand over his face. “This is just another form of torture. They’re getting creative since we won’t break.”

“Don’t freak out so much, Buck. We can resist it.”

“You’ve never been around me during heat. It’s not easy for an Alpha to resist and Omega in full heat.”

“We’re strong,” Steve insists. “We can do it. Don’t worry about it.”

“This is not something you can just push through, Steve.” Bucky rubs his hands over his face. “There’s a reason that Omegas aren’t allowed to be out during their heats. It’s meant to be irresistible. You know, to propagate the species. It’s hardwired into our brains.”

“You’re being dramatic,” Steve tells him. “If we can resist torture, we can resist a simple heat.”

“You better be right,” Bucky says, wholly unconvinced.

A day later Bucky’s heat hits full on. He’s never endured a heat with another person in the room, let alone an Alpha, and he sure this is going to be as embarrassing as it is difficult to resist. He’s already taken off his shorts so they won’t get filled with slick. He’s naked and curled up in a ball to hide his erection.

Steve is on the other side of the cell, similarly curled up. He’s gripping the bars so tightly, Bucky wonders if they might break. He’s got his pants on, but similar to Bucky, he’s faced the other way.

A wave of heat courses through Bucky’s body and he groans. Steve responses with his own groan. Soon sounds and grunts come from Steve’s direction. Bucky risks a glance and sees that Steve is masturbating. It’s the only thing to keep the intensity of the heat pheromones at bay. Bucky wishes he could do the same, but it wouldn’t work for him. What he needs is a knot, and he’s not going to get it unless he has a knotting vibrator. And Hydra isn’t going to be so accommodating.

Bucky hears Steve finish, and does his best to pretend he doesn’t know what just happened. He holds on to the bars like they’re his lifelines. Steve stills and Bucky relaxes just a bit. He won’t be taken by this Alpha for a while at least. He can rest. Somehow, he falls into sleep.

He wakes up with Steve all over him. He’s kissing his neck, he’s cupping his groin. It all feels amazing, but it’s not what Bucky truly wants. “Steve!” he yells. Steve responds by stroking his erection that has never gone down. It’s the best feeling that Bucky has felt in months. He throws his head back and thrusts his hips up into the touch. Steve keeps up the motion, but leans down and starts kissing Bucky. He starts kissing back immediately, but part of his brain still knows that he shouldn’t be doing this. But it isn’t until Steve stops stroking his prick and reaches lower to his cloaca and sticks his fingers into the flowing slick that Bucky’s brain awakens.

He pulls himself up onto his elbows and tries to pull away from Steve’s administrations. “Steve,” Bucky pleads. “Stop” Steve, however, does not stop. “Steve!” he yells louder. “You said you were strong enough to avoid this.”

Steve recoils at this. He removes his fingers, props himself up on his hands and looks down at Bucky. “Please, don’t do this,” Bucky entreats.” Steve looks down at him and looks horrified at what he’s doing.

He pulls away and practically throws himself to the far corner of the cell. “Shit,” he panics, rubbing at his face. “Shit, shit, shit.” He grabs the bars and thunks his head against them.

“Stop that,” Bucky commands, “Don’t hurt yourself.”

“I violated you,” Steve sobs. “I don’t know what I was thinking.” He rests his head against the bars, but he looks ready to smack his head against them at any moment.

“You weren’t thinking. The pheromones got to you and you went with instinct. I told you this wouldn’t be so easy to resist.”

“How can you forgive me so easily,” Steve asks.

Bucky sighs. “I can’t say I’m happy with you right now. But you stopped when I asked you to. That’s what matters right now.”

“I’m still in control of my own actions,” Steve tells himself.

“Good,” Bucky says. “Because I _can’t_ get pregnant in here.”

“I won’t touch you again,” Steve says.

“I believe you,” Bucky replies. “Now you know the strength of the pheromones, they won’t catch you off guard again.”

They spend the rest of Bucky’s heat in silence, on opposite sides of the cell. Steve has to masturbate a few more times to keep himself under control. Bucky doesn’t mind, even though he craves the same kind of release and won’t be able to get it without help. He can’t risk Steve coming anywhere near him. So he suffers in silence, gripping the bars of the cell when his body tries to betray his mind.

He cannot get pregnant in here. Hydra would take the child and he wouldn’t be able to bear that. He can only hope that this is just another form of torture, not that they actually want him to get pregnant. But for now, he heat is abating, so he won’t be getting pregnant this month.

Soon a collection of guards arrives at the door to their cell. “Up, against the wall,” one of them says. Steve and Bucky know better than to fight these orders now. That only gets them beaten harder and with more malice. When the fight is unwinnable, better to not fight.

They drag Bucky out of the cell, and he can hear them doing the same to Steve. Once in the hallway, he sees them take Steve in the opposite direction. Part of him wants to struggle against this, but he fights those instincts and lets himself be taken away. Where they end up turns out to be the tiny cell that he has been tortured in for the last few months. Bucky sighs, but accepts what is coming.

Approximately one month later Bucky finds himself back in the larger cell. He wakes up there, and is momentarily disoriented until he sees Steve in one corner. “So were back here, are we?” he asks no one in particular. Steve looks as bad as he feels. Hydra must have been torturing him too.

Steve shrugs. “Hydra must be running out of ways to torture us.”

Bucky laughs. “I don’t know whether to thank Steven Strange or to strangle him.” Dr. Strange helped the both of them out a while ago by building blocks on their brain that keep them from being brain washed by Hydra technology. Bucky was thrilled at the time by the idea that he could never again be turned into the Winter Solider, but now that’s looking like an easier option. It beats being tortured for months with no end in sight. Bucky is just kidding though. He of course prefers his brain intact.

“You’re not in heat yet, right?” Steve asks. Bucky shakes his head. “Good, then come here.” Steve opens his arms and Bucky slides right in. They’ve always been close, but he can’t say they’ve ever been this touchy feely. But now it feels right.

“You’re hurt,” Bucky says, but not moving from his spot in Steve’s arms.

“You are too,” Steve says while stroking Bucky’s hair.

“Have you kept track of time at all?” Bucky asks. “Do we have some time before…” he trails off.

“Not sure,” Steve replies. “Hydra makes it hard to keep track of the days.”

“That’s certainly true. Plus, there’s no sunlight making it down into these cells. I don’t even know if it’s day or night.”

Steve yawns. “It feels like night to me, but I’m not sure that means anything.”

“It means you should get some rest, let your body heal.” Bucky lightly strokes the mess of Steve’s face.

“Don’t worry about me, “Steve says. “I’ll heal up in a day or two, max.” He cups his palm to Bucky’s face, which is only slightly better than Steve’s. “You need rest as well.” They both know that Bucky’s serum doesn’t heal him as fast as Steve’s.

“Then stop talking and let’s sleep.” Bucky chides him. Steve answers by snuggling closer to Bucky and closing his eyes. Bucky does the same and drifts off to sleep.

A few days later, Bucky’s heat hits. They’re both more prepared for it this time and more easily keep their hands off each other. They’re both suffering through it on opposite sides of the cell when a Hydra higher up arrives at their cell. Bucky doesn’t know the man’s name or position in Hydra, but he’s seen the man giving orders while Bucky was being tortured. He’s not one to mess with, and having him here during Bucky’s heat is not a good sign.

“They’re still resisting, I see,” the man says. Bucky looks over to see a guard nod. “Then deploy the pollen. I want this done.”

“Yes sir,” a guard replies and the Hydra man leaves as quickly as he came.

Bucky doesn’t know what this pollen he’s talking about could be, but Hydra has many R&D labs that churn out all sorts of chemical and biological warfare. It could be anything. His interest piqued, Bucky turns around to face the guards to see what they are doing. His fear spikes when he sees they are putting on gas masks. He risks a glance over to Steve who looks particularly perplexed.

One of the guards throws something into the cell, and a pink substance starts spreading from a device in the center of the cell. Steve and Bucky are already as far from the pink cloud as they can get, but Bucky tries to stay away from it by sticking his face through the bars. It’s futile though, because the gas quickly overwhelms him and spreads past the cell. Bucky coughs and tries to avoid breathing it in. But he soon runs out of air and is forced to take a deep breath of it in his lungs.

It’s like a train hitting him full on. His desire for an Alpha, already strong from the heat, is suddenly tripled. His insides yearn for a knot with an impatience that cannot be denied. Lucky for him, he thinks, there is an Alpha in the cell with him.

He gets up off the floor in search of the Alpha through the still thick fog of pink. He can’t see anything through the cloud, but it doesn’t matter because he’s met halfway by the Alpha he seeks.

They nearly collide into one another, but once they touch, they don’t let go. Bucky scents Steve, tucking his head into his neck and groaning at the sweet smell as slick drips down his leg. He had forgotten he was naked, trying to save his only pair of pants from mess off his heat, but now it seems like the best idea, and why isn’t Steve naked too.

Steve has other ideas though and grips him by the shoulders and slams him into the back wall of the cell. Steve immediately follows up with his mouth, hot, open, and insistent. Bucky moans into the kiss and tries to get some friction on his groin by rubbing up against Steve. He notices the movement and reaches a hand down to stroke Bucky’s length a few times. Bucky throws his head back in pleasure and Steve takes the opportunity to suck marks into his neck. He’s close to the spot a bonding mark would be placed, but backs off before he gets there.

“You’re not naked,” Bucky tells Steve, imploring him to become so, and quickly.

Steve laughs. “You’re not on your back with my knot filling you up,” he responds.

“Yes,” Bucky moans just thinking about the idea. “Let’s solve both those problems, why don’t we?” He pushes Steve to the ground and climbs on tops of him. He pulls Steve’s underwear off as quickly as he can and meets him back face to face with a bruising kiss. Steve pulls his butt down and their cocks rubs against one another’s. They both groan in pleasure into the kiss, but they don’t stop moving.

This close to an Alpha, the slick is dripping off him in waves. He can’t take another second without Steve being inside him. So he stops his current movements and reaches down to grab Steve’s substantial dick. Bucky knows his cloaca opens considerably during heat, but he’s not sure that Steve is going to fit inside him. But he has to get that knot sometime soon, or he’s going to go crazy. So he lines himself up and slowly sinks down on Steve’s cock. Steve closes his eyes in pleasure, but doesn’t fuck up into him while Bucky is still adjusting. He can only take the head at first, but he moves up body up and down until he can take the entire length.

That’s when Steve takes control. He flips them so that Bucky is on his back, just where he said he wanted Bucky. He thrusts up into Bucky slowly at first, but steadily harder and faster. Bucky throws his head back again and loses himself to the rhythm. When it isn’t fast enough he puts the back of his feet on Steve’s ass and pushes him to move faster. Soon the rhythm is as fast as Steve can likely go, and Bucky’s still urging him on.

He feels Steve’s knot start to grow and feels elated that he’ll soon be filled up, and disappointed that this will end soon. But Bucky knows for certain that a knot is what he truly wants, so he doesn’t stop Steve.

With the knot pushing up against his prostate, he needs release and soon. “Steve,” he all but yells, “I need, I need to…”

“I’ve got you baby,” Steve replies to the unspoken request and reaches as hand down to start stroking Bucky’s dick in time to his thrusts. “I’m so close myself.”

“I can feel your knot,” Bucky tells him.

“Oh yeah? Is that what you want?” Steve asks.

“God, yes. I need it. I want it.” Bucky replies.

“Then you’ll have it,” Steve responds. His thrusts get shallower as his knot expands, locking them together, but he doesn’t let up on the rhythm. “Bucky!” he grits out through his teeth. “I’m going to come.” His knot expands to full size and he thrusts one last time before he comes. Bucky, feeling the knot fill him up, follows suit. The orgasm that hits him is unlike anything he’s felt before. It feels like it just keeps going forever, wave after wave of pleasure coursing through him.

When it stops, however, reality snaps rudely back into focus. Steve is looking down at him, bewildered and shocked. Bucky is looking back at him in horror. It seems whatever the pink “pollen” was it left their systems as soon as they orgasmed.

Bucky shifts and regrets it. He’s still sensitive right now, and he feels the knot shift inside him. Bucky knows they didn’t use a condom, and all he can think about is Steve’s come releasing into his body. He can’t get pregnant, he just can’t, so he panics and tries to pull away.

“Whoa, Bucky, don’t move,” Steve requests. But Bucky isn’t hearing him right now. He has to get away before he can get pregnant. He pushes Steve to the side and tries to get off of him, but the knot is tying them together. “Seriously, Buck, you’re going to hurt yourself, and me.” He doesn’t care. He tries again to pull away using what strength he has left after months of torture.

“Stop,” Steve yells louder. He puts his arms and legs around Bucky to hold him in place. Being trapped only makes him fight harder, but Steve has him securely held down, so he can’t hurt either of them anymore. Knowing that he’s lost this fight, he crumples and starts crying. “I’m so sorry, Buck,” Steve says while rubbing his back, even as he keeps Bucky in a hold. “I don’t know what came over me. There was that pink stuff, and then my head wasn’t on straight.” Bucky cries even harder, knowing that Hydra did this to them. “I’m so sorry.” Steve is starting to get tears in his eyes now. Bucky can’t face that, so he buries his head into Steve’s chest and cries until he can’t cry any longer.

He doesn’t realize he has fallen asleep until Steve is gently trying to wake him. “Buck, wake up now, please.” He opens he eyes to see Steve staring back looking concerned.

“What is it?” Bucky asks sleepily.

Steve looks down like he doesn’t want to say the next sentence. “My knot’s gone down. I can pull out now.” He looks guilty and can’t make eye contact as he says it.

The sentence brings Bucky fully awake and last night comes flooding back to him. He realizes as tries to move to get away that he can still feel Steve inside him. “Fine,” he says, tears starting up again. “Just get it over with.”

It’s not as easy as it sounds. Bucky’s passage has dried up and there is no slick to aid the movement of Steve’s dick as he slowly pulls out. Bucky makes a pained noise and Steve starts apologizing and moving slower. “Like a Band-Aid, Rogers,” Bucky yells at him. Steve looks concerned, but he does move noticeably faster.

The second Bucky is free, he flings himself to the other side of the cell. He needs to get away from Steve. He needs this day to have been just a nightmare. He needs it all to go away. He hides his face in his hands, and with his back to Steve, he starts crying again. Big deep sobs he can’t control wrack his body.

It isn’t until he gets his breathing back under control and the sobs have slightly abated, that he can hear what Steve is saying. He’s apologizing over and over. “I’m sorry, Buck. I’m so sorry. There’s no excuse for what I did to you, but I’m so, so sorry,” and then he repeats it again.

Bucky lets it go on for a while because he can’t trust himself to speak. But soon the apologies just get annoying. “Shut up, Rogers.” Bucky manages to spit out. Steve does. He buttons up and listens to Bucky say the first words he said in about half an hour. “It isn’t your fault, so stop apologizing.”

“But, I raped you. How is that not my fault?” Steve asks.

“Did you hear me say no, or show any indication that I didn’t want it as much as you?” Bucky counters.

“No,” Steve says slowly, “But you clearly didn’t want it from your reaction afterward.”

“That’s true, I didn’t want it. But it was that mist, that pink stuff. If it messed with your brain the same as it messed with mine, then you aren’t to blame. Hydra is. Hydra raped me, not you. They just used you to do it.”

“You can’t even look at me,” Steve says. “You must blame me a little.”

Bucky turns around to face Steve. There are still tears in his eyes, so he can’t see clearly, but Steve is sitting up and facing him with he head drooped down. He looks up as Bucky faces him. Bucky rubs the tears out of his eyes and looks back at Steve. Steve has tears of his own building up, and he looks so, so sad. Despite his own sadness, he wants to cheer Steve up.

He crawls over to the other side of the cell where Steve is sitting. He lies down and gestures for Steve to do the same. As soon as Steve complies, Bucky is crawling into his arms. Steve holds on like his life depends on it, and Bucky can hear him sniffling. “I don’t blame you, even a little.” Bucky tells him. “It’s Hydra I hate, not you. You would never willingly do something that would make me hate you. I just needed some space.”

“So you’re over it now?” Steve asks. “Just like that?”

“No, I’m not over it,” Bucky replies. “But I don’t want to be upset with you a minute longer.”

“I should have been able to resist,” Steve states.

“I don’t think you could have,” Bucky counters. “I certainly couldn’t. That ‘pollen’ or whatever it was was far too strong. Combined with my heat, we couldn’t have done anything to resist it.”

“Still…”

“Steve, stop beating yourself up. You take responsibility for too much in this world; don’t add this. Not when we were clearly drugged.” Bucky pulls Steve closer and buries his head in Steve’s chest. “You. Are. Not. To. Blame,” Bucky says while smushed into Steve’s chest.

They’re silent for a long time before Steve finally pipes up. “Why would they do it? Hydra I mean. What do they have to gain from this?”

Bucky laughs, but it’s a cold lifeless laugh. “They likely want their very own supersolider.”

“What do you mean?” Steve asks.

“Well since you and I haven’t given in to torture, they’ll stoop to creating a supersoldier the old fashioned way. Through us.” Bucky lifts his head to look at Steve. “When we wouldn’t bone during our last heat, they used that pink mist to force us. They must be trying to get me pregnant.”

“You think a child of ours would be a supersoldier?” Steve asks.

“Don’t you?” Bucky answers. “The serum changed our DNA, so our child’s DNA would be enhanced too.”

“That seems like a slow way to create a supersoldier,” Steve muses. “They won’t get a proper soldier for decades.”

“They’ve won, Steve. They don’t need to do anything fast anymore. Their plans can take decades and it doesn’t matter because they rule the world now.”

“Still sounds like a dumb plan,” Steve says.

“I know Hydra,” Bucky tells him. “And they always run the long game.”

A few weeks later, Steve and Bucky are still in the same cell when the guards come to take Bucky away. He and Steve had been spending all their time cuddled up together and talking. Not being tortured was a nice change of pace, but prison can still get boring. They entertained themselves by talking about what they’d be doing if they were on the outside.

Now the guards are taking Bucky away and he doesn’t know if he’ll ever see Steve again. At some point they’ll be separated and tortured again. This might be it.

Instead he is taken to a medical examination room. Bucky gets a cold chill down his spine. They take him to the bed in the middle of the room and strap him down, using special restraints for his metal arm. Once he is tied down, the guards leave him to stand by the door, and a doctor in white lab coat comes in. He comes over to Bucky’s table and starts drawing blood. He then starts to press around Bucky’s abdomen and his stomach plummets. He knows why he’s here. They must be testing for pregnancy.

The doctor leaves and Bucky is left on the table for what seems like forever, but is only an hour according to the clock on the wall. The doctor comes in, along with the man who ordered the use of the pink pollen.

“Is he healthy enough,” the Hydra official asks. “He needs to be in top shape.”

“Oh, yes,” the doctor replies. “A few weeks of rest and there are virtually no signs of torture. You don’t need to worry about that. He should be perfectly healthy for our needs.”

“And the test results? Have they come in?”

Bucky listens intensely for the answer. “They’re positive,” the doctor replies. Bucky starts to panic, but the doctor wasn’t clear what test he conducted.

“So he’s pregnant then?” the man asks. Tears spring to Bucky’s eyes, as he already knows the answer.

“Definitely pregnant,” the doctor responds.

“NO!” Bucky yells. He pulls at his straps and bonds and tries to get free. “No, no, no,” he repeats. He can’t see through the tears building up in his eyes, but he pulls with all his might, to no avail.

“Calm down, Sgt. Barnes,” the Hydra man says. “You will serve Hydra once more. And that’s a good thing.”

“Fuck you, you Nazi bastard,” Bucky throws back at him. “You won’t get my child.” He gets a smack across the face for his trouble.

“Hydra has won,” the man says calmly. “It’s time you understand what that means. It means that Hydra gets what Hydra wants. And right now we want your child. You have no means to stops us, so we’ll get what we want.”

“No,” Bucky cries. “Please, no.” Bucky pulls at the restraints, but his efforts are abating.

“Give it time,” the man says. “You’ll see we’re right. It’s for the greater good.” Then he promptly leaves the room, leaving Bucky alone with the doctor.

He comes over to Bucky and tries to touch him. Bucky recoils and says, “Touch me, and I swear you’ll lose something.” The doctor just shrugs and leaves the room too, leaving Bucky to cry alone.

They leave him there for hours until he is exhausted from crying. Then and only then do they uncuff him from the table and drag him back to the cell he’s been sharing with Steve. He doesn’t even try to fight them.

The second Steve sees him he is concerned. He picks Bucky up from where they unceremoniously drop him and places Bucky’s head in his lap. “You were gone for hours, I wasn’t sure you were even coming back.” Bucky rolls over so his face is smashed in Steve’s stomach and cries harder. Steve runs his hands through Bucky’s hair. “Oh, Buck, what is it?”

Bucky takes a couple deep breaths before turning back to face Steve and answering. “I’m pregnant,” he whispers, then turns back to bury his tears in Steve’s stomach again.

Steve rubs his back, but doesn’t say anything for a moment. “I’m so sorry, Bucky,” he empathizes. He doesn’t say anything more, just let’s Bucky cry himself out until he can cry no longer.

When he has stopped to an occasional sniffle, Steve helps him sit up. “Want to tell me what you’re thinking, Buck?”

“I can’t let them take my child, Steve. I don’t think I could make it through that. Knowing that Hydra has their claws in my child from birth. That kid would have no chance but to become Hydra. It’s not fair to any kid, but I can’t let it happen to mine.” He stops his rant to start crying again. “That’s why I fought you after the pollen. I couldn’t stand the idea that I could get pregnant here where Hydra controls us. I just can’t let them take my child.”

“It’s ok Buck,” Steve tells him. “We’ve got nine months. We’ll either escape or get rescued by then. I won’t let Hydra take our kid either.”

“What do you mean, get rescued?” Bucky asks, curious.

“By the other Avengers. They have to be looking for us.” Steve answers.

Bucky groans and all but facepalms. “Steve, what part of Hydra won, don’t you understand? There is no way that the rest of the Avengers aren’t in their own cells already. They’re not on their way to rescue us. And if we do escape, there is nowhere in the world to hide from Hydra.”

“Don’t worry about it, Bucky. You just gotta have faith.”


	2. Chapter 2

**ONE MONTH LATER**

“Ok, what would you be eating right now,” Steve asks

“Mmm, ice cream,” Bucky answers. They’re staving off boredom by playing “What would you be doing if you weren’t here.” It’s kind of a depressing game, but it keeps them from going crazy.

“Ah, but what flavor?” Steve inquires.

“Triple chocolate,” Bucky replies. “You know, the one with the chocolate ice cream, the chocolate swirl and the fudge brownies and/or chocolate chips. Just a pure chocolate foodgasm. Yum” Bucky rubs his belly indicating his desire for chocolate, but it’s turned to mean something else these days. He’s not showing yet, but he knows that there is a child growing inside him. “What about you?” he continues, ignoring his parental instincts, “What would you be eating?”

“A nice juicy steak.”

“Cooked how?”

“Rare and bloody. I love it when it’s practically cold it is so rare.”

“Obviously we need to get you some more iron in your diet,” Bucky tells him.

“We’ve talked about this,” Steve starts.

“Whoa, I was just making a comment, not trying to start that up again.” Steve and Bucky have gotten into a few fights over meals. They finally started feeding Bucky a proper amount for a supersoldier, but Steve’s meals are still far to small for his metabolism. Bucky wants to share, equally, but Steve insists he needs the calories to be healthy for the baby. They’ve fought several times over it, and Bucky has always lost to Steve’s stubbornness.

“You and the baby need the food. You’re eating for two.”

“I pretty sure that’s just a saying,” Bucky says exasperated. Apparently they are getting into it again. “It’s not like a two month fetus needs as many calories as a full grown supersoldier.”

“But,” Steve starts, but Bucky never gets to hear the end of that sentence, because the guards come into the room with shotguns and Tasers.

“Get up and face the wall,” one of the guards shouts, even though they know the drill by now. “Hands on your heads.”

After a few months of fighting, they’ve given it up. Security is top notch here, and any sign of struggle will just get them broken bones and a Taser to the stomach. It’s not worth the effort, especially now that everyone involved wants to keep Bucky as healthy as possible.

Once Steve and Bucky have complied with the guards’ orders, they open the cell door and come over to Bucky. The usual procedure is for them to cuff him with the reinforced restraints and take him wherever he needs to go, typically the medical wing. But today they stab him with a needle first.

“Ow,” Bucky reacts, then immediately drops to the floor. Whatever was in that needle was extremely potent. He’s doesn’t pass out, but he can’t move below the neck.

“Buck!” Steve yells, and gets a Taser to the back for his troubles.

“I’m ok, Steve,” Bucky slurs back. “Don’t get yourself hurt over me.” He can only hope Steve listens to him as the guards drag him out of there. They don’t even bother with restraints, trusting in the drug to keep him from lashing out.

He’s taken to the medical wing as usual and brought over to the exam table. They lift him up and place him on the table and strap down his arms as usual. But today there are stirrups on the table, and they remove his boxers before placing his legs in the stirrups.

He tries to fight, but the drug has taken hold of him. They try to strap down his legs, but it’s not as easy in the stirrups. It must be the reason for the drug.

The guards leave as soon as they get him somewhat strapped down and stand by the door. The doctor walks in and puts on his gloves. The first thing he does his put lube on his fingers and starts opening Bucky’s cloaca. Bucky fights the tears that threaten to appear at being violated like this without permission.

Once he is open enough, the doctor puts in a cold speculum to open him further. After that Bucky doesn’t know what the doctor is doing down there. He assumes he is performing necessary tests for the baby, but who knows. The doctor isn’t speaking to him, not giving him any of the results.

Finally the doctor removes the speculum, but it’s clear he isn’t done with his tests. He produces what looks like a wand about two inches thick and spreads lube all over it. Bucky tenses, knowing exactly where that wand is going.

He’s right, and the doctor inserts the wand into his cloaca. It’s been spread open by the speculum, so the passage is plenty open for the wand, but it still stings going in, likely because he is tensing. Once in though, a monitor lights up and Bucky knows exactly what it is.

It’s an ultrasound. Bucky wasn’t expecting that. All ultrasounds he had heard of were external over the belly. But this wand is definitely transmitting pictures to the monitor. They shift as the doctor moves the wand, and in an instant, an image appears and startles Bucky. It is clearly an image of a baby, a head and a body.

The features are not clear, it’s so small, but it’s definitely a fetus inside of him. His tears are ready to spring to his eyes. He wishes that Steve were here to see this.

Too soon the ultrasound is over and the doctor is cleaning him up. Bucky is happy to get that wand out of his body, but he wanted more time looking at his child. So small, but so clearly a child growing inside him. The ultrasound made it real. Before it was just a concept that he was pregnant, but now he’s seen the proof for himself.

The guards come back into the room and drag him back to the cells. But they don’t go the same way they came, and soon Bucky is turned around. Between the news he just got and the drug he was dosed with, he can hardly be certain which way is up. But it soon becomes clear they are not taking him back to the cell he shares with Steve. Instead they are heading back to the tiny cell he was tortured in for so many months.

He can’t fight in his current state, but if he could he would. “No,” he shouts instead. “Steve!” He thinks he probably sounds like a petulant child, but he needs to be with Steve. He can’t deal with this pregnancy on his own. He’ll go crazy alone. Not to mention he wants to tell Steve about the ultrasound.

But the guards don’t listen, of course, and leave him alone in the tiny cell. It’s barely big enough for him to lie down fully stretched out. He curls up into a ball and strokes his stomach. “Hang in there, little guy,” he says to the child, but mostly to himself. “We can make it just the two of us.” He holds back the tears and silently prays they’ll bring him back to Steve.

* * *

Two months later the guards come in, likely to take him back to the medical wing. Bucky’s been spending a lot of time there, having more invasive ultrasounds than he thinks is strictly necessary. The guards don’t need to bother with drugs to get him to comply anymore. He’s been completely apathetic lately. The only thing that actually gets him off the floor is the near constant morning sickness. He’s had it since he was taken away from Steve, and every morning, without fail, he’s got his head leaning over the bucket in his cell puking his guts out. Other than that, he just lies there, completely unable and unwilling to move.

The guards pick him up and take him down the hallways past the cells. They just let his legs drag on the ground, not caring whether Bucky can pick himself up or not. As he suspected, they take him to the medical wing again. They strap him down to the table, but this time they don’t put him in the stirrups.

The doctor comes in, and as usual, doesn’t say a word to Bucky. He puts gel over Bucky’s stomach and pulls closer the ultrasound monitor. It appears the doctor is finally going to do an exterior ultrasound instead of the invasive kind. Bucky tries to muster some joy over this, but he can’t even manage to do that.

The doctor places the ultrasound wand over his stomach. It’s gotten bigger over the last few months. Bucky is definitely showing, but he can’t seem to care. The monitor turns on and displays a new picture of the baby. Bucky has seen so many ultrasound results that he doesn’t have the same emotional response as the first one.

The Hydra higher up who orchestrated Bucky’s pregnancy bursts into the room. Bucky hasn’t seen him in months, and his presence usually does not bring good tidings.

“What are the results?” the man asks the doctor.

“The child looks healthy. But I’m starting to get worried about the Omega’s mental state.” He looks down to Bucky, but Bucky stares off into the distance. “I’m starting to suspect that Alpha Absence Syndrome is taking place.”

“AAS? But they aren’t bonded.”

The doctor shakes his head. “Everyone thinks that AAS only occurs with bonded pairs, but if an unbonded Alpha and Omega are close enough, it can occur with them too. We left them alone together for a few months. That’s pretty close.”

“So what do we do about it?”

“Simple,” the doctor replies. “We just reintroduce the Alpha.”

Bucky perks up at that. Are they really going to bring Steve back to him?

“Certainly there is some drug or pheromone that can do the same thing?” the Hydra man asks.

“No,” the doctor answers. “The real thing is always best. If we don’t get on this quickly, the health of the child will soon be at risk.”

“How much a risk?”

“We could lose her in a matter of weeks.”

Bucky finally looks around and makes eye contact with the doctor. “Her? It’s a girl?”

The doctor swings the monitor around to show both Bucky and the Hydra man. “At 16 weeks the gender should be noticeable. The child is clearly a girl.” Bucky starts to tear up, but blinks them away so he can continue to stare at the monitor. A girl. The only thing he wants to do is tell Steve.

“That’s a shame,” the man says. “We could have done so much more with a male.”

 _Fuck you!_ Bucky thinks. _I’ve seen plenty of women superheroes kick more ass than you’ll ever know._ “If you don’t want her,” Bucky tells him. “I’ll keep her.”

The man smacks Bucky across the face. Strapped down, Bucky can’t do anything to retaliate, so he just takes it stoically. When the man speaks, it’s smoothly, as if he didn’t just resort to violence. “Hydra will take good care of your child Sgt. Barnes. You don’t have to worry. She’ll be better off with us than in the care of the Avengers, criminals on the run. We’ll turn her into a supersoldier stronger than any who ever existed.”

“You keep your filthy hands off my daughter, or I swear you’ll get what’s coming to you.” Bucky bears his teeth like as feral animal while he says this. It’s the strongest reaction he’s had in months.

Bucky gets another slap for his outburst. “Do you know who I am, Sgt. Barnes?” Bucky doesn’t answer, just glares at the man. “My name is Vaughn Ziegler. I’m currently fifth in Hydra’s line of succession. I have the power to make sure your daughter is properly treated. But defy me and I’ll make sure that she knows pain on a daily basis. There are two ways to get a loyal solider, with love and with pain. Which route we take will depend on your cooperation.”

Bucky grits his teeth, but doesn’t say anything further. He knows he’s in no position to fight back, and he takes Ziegler’s threat seriously.

“Good,” Ziegler says, “I knew you’d understand.” He turns to the guards. “Take him back to his cell. Let him think about what we’ve discussed here today.”

* * *

Steve hangs from his bonds, feet dragging on the floor where he can’t put weight on them, and thinks about Bucky. He hasn’t seen Bucky in months and he fears what might have happened to him. He tries to calm his thoughts. Likely Hydra just decided Steve was no longer necessary in the baby making process and took him back to be tortured in the hope they could actually break him. But he can’t help think the worst about what has happened to Bucky and the child.

The Hydra man comes in and Steve groans. His torture is always worse when this man is leading it. But to his surprise, the man doesn’t order more torture. “Let him down,” the man orders the guards. They come into the cell and unhook his bonds, letting him drop to the floor. Steve is completely unshackled, but in his current state he’s not capable of hurting a fly, so the men don’t keep on guard. “How bad is he?” the man asks. Steve frowns. It almost sounds like the man cares about his wellbeing, almost.

One of guards comes in and kicks Steve’s shoulder so that he rolls over on to his back. The bruises and open wounds come into view. Steve grunts at the movement. “I don’t think he’ll be of any use right now,” one of the guards announces. “But he’ll heal up in a day or two given the chance.”

“Right,” the man says. “We’ll leave him here for a day then. And get him a meal as soon as he is able to sit up.” He leaves the cell as abruptly as he came in. The guards follow suit and leave Steve on the floor of his cell with the knowledge that he’ll be left alone for at least a day. The relief that comes with that is palpable. He could almost cry if he weren’t too exhausted to do anything but lie there on his back where the guard left him.

One day to heal. What for, he can only guess. To start a new torture, one that might be more effective. Seeing as how torture has been his entire life for the better part of a year now, that’s where his mind first goes. But he still thinks of Bucky and hopes that that is where they will be taking him.

True to their word, after about 12 hours he is able to sit up and food is brought to him immediately. It’s a full meal too, not the puny ones they’ve been giving him with just enough food to keep him alive. They clearly want him to heal fast.

He sleeps the rest of the day, or night as it may be. He is woken by the guards restraining his arms behind his back. It’s not strictly necessary, as he’s still too weak to fight, or even stand, but he finds that he does have more movement back than he had even 12 hours ago. He still can’t stand on his own though, so they drag him down the corridors. Intensely curious, he keeps a map in his head of every turn they make. There are a lot of them, the dungeon seems extensive yet mostly empty, but Steve’s tactician’s brain allows him to build up a map. It could be useful for escaping.

But all that falls out of this head the second he sees where they are taking him. He’s been brought to a tiny cell similar to the one that he’s been kept in for most of his time here. But what catches his attention is the figure with it’s back to him with long brown hair, and more importantly, a metal arm. “Bucky!” he shouts, unable to keep himself quiet. But Bucky doesn’t move, doesn’t turn around.

The guards drag Steve into the cell and hold him down as they unshackle him. He waits for them to be done so he can see to Bucky. He knows something must be wrong, or they wouldn’t have brought him here. The second he is free, he hurries the two steps over to where Bucky is lying. He turns him over to face upwards, but Bucky’s eyes slide right over Steve’s face and end up focused on the ceiling.

“Bucky,” Steve coaxes, “God I missed you.” He places his hand on Bucky’s face, cupping it to try guiding his eyes over to Steve’s face. “Can you look at me, Buck?” Bucky’s eyes don’t seem to focus, but at least they’re faced in Steve’s direction. “Bucky, it’s me Steve.”

“Steve?” Bucky croaks out. His voice sounds like it hasn’t been used in some time, and his eyes still aren’t focusing. “Is that really you?”

“Yes, Buck,” Steve replies. “It’s me.” He scans Bucky over to looks for obvious signs of injury. Other than a pronounced baby bump, he doesn’t see anything amiss. “What’s wrong with you?” he asks. “How can I help?”

“It’s AAS,” Bucky tells him, but doesn’t elaborate any further.

“You mean Alpha Absence Syndrome?” Steve asks. “But that only occurs in bonded pairs.” Bonded pairs become so dependent on one another, that if the Alpha dies or leaves during pregnancy, the Omega can get really sick and often the child is lost if the Alpha does not come back. But Steve’s never heard of it happening outside of bonded pairs.

Bucky shakes his head, apparently trying to contradict Steve’s comment about bonded pairs. The movement is slow, but determined. “Alright,” Steve tells him, “I believe you. I’m here now. What do I do?”

Bucky sniffs the air, and Steve is immediately reminded of what he’s heard about AAS. Scent is the best way to combat the syndrome. If the Alpha is able to come back, the Omega should be pressed close to his or her scent gland. This tells the Omega’s body that its Alpha is back and ready to take care of the baby.

“I’ve got you,” Steve says as soon as he remembers this. He lies down next to Bucky and pulls him into his arms. He positions Bucky’s head so that his nose lies directly on top of the scent gland on Steve’s neck. Bucky grabs hold of him and sniffs in the Alpha’s scent. After a few good whiffs, he starts to cry silently and his grip on Steve’s back is suddenly stronger, holding him close. A few of the wounds on his back aren’t completely healed, but he doesn’t complain to Bucky. He needs this, and Steve won’t deny him.

After a few more deep breaths in, Bucky really starts to sob. Steve just rubs his back and tries to sooth him and he lets it out. “I missed you so much, Steve,” Bucky says when he can finally scrape together a few words.

“I know,” Steve says soothingly. “I missed you too.

“I didn’t think I’d ever see you again,” he sobs out.

“I’m here now,” Steve answers. “Everything is going to be ok.”

Bucky pushes back a little, untangling himself from Steve. “I want to look at you.” Steve is a little reluctant to let him go, but he pulls back to look Bucky in the eye. Bucky gasps when he sees him. “You’re hurt,” he exclaims.

Steve actually laughs out loud at this. “You’re the one we need to worry about right now. I’ll be fine in a day or two. It’s nothing, really.”

Bucky brushes his fingertips over Steve’s broken face. “It doesn’t look like nothing. Have they been hurting you the whole time we’ve been separated?”

Steve looks down, not wanting to admit that as the truth. While he is doing that he notices Bucky’s baby bump. “Wow, you’re getting big.”

“And you’re changing the subject,” Bucky says. “But I suppose I can guess where you’ve been.” Bucky strokes his belly. “I guess I am starting to show.

“Starting to show?” Steve says. “You’re getting fat!”

Bucky laughs tiredly. “I guess she’s going to ruin my figure, huh?”

Steve stops breathing for a moment. “She?” he asks. “They can tell already?”

Bucky smiles kindly. “Yeah, they can tell.” He cups Steve’s face. “Our child is going to be a girl.”

Steve brings Bucky into a tight hug. He feels Bucky tuck his face back into his neck as tears threaten to collect in his eyes. He’s going to have a daughter. He didn’t think knowing the sex would make him so happy, but his child seems more real to him now. He can see himself raising his daughter with Bucky. He tells Bucky as much.

“You know you won’t get a chance to raise her,” Bucky says with a frown.

“The Avengers will come,” Steve states matter-of-factly.

“We’ve been over this, Steve” Bucky complains.

“And you haven’t changed my mind. You just gotta have a little more faith.”

Bucky holds on to Steve as he mumbles in his ear. “You can shove your damn faith up your…” but trails off. Steve just smiles and holds Bucky tighter as the other man takes another whiff of the pheromones at his neck.’

* * *

Bucky wakes up to a now familiar feeling deep in his stomach. He makes a run for the bucket, forgetting that he spent the night curled around Steve, and trips all over him. He doesn’t bother with an apology, fearing he might not make it to the bucket if he opens his mouth. He makes it with not a second to spare and pukes up what little there was in his stomach.

“Oh my god, what’s wrong?” Steve asks, clearly panicking a little. “Are you ok?” He’s hovering over Bucky’s shoulder not knowing what to do.

Bucky just laughs at him, as soon as he’s done moaning from the nausea. “It’s just morning sickness, Steve. Nothing to be done about it.”

“Morning sickness?” Steve says. “I guess I missed a lot. The serum doesn’t keep that from happening?”

“If only,” Bucky replies. Steve is still hovering, so he waves him off. “It’s fine. I feel a lot better once it comes up.”

“So there’s nothing I can do to help?” Steve asks hopefully.

“You could let me sniff you some more,” Bucky tells him. “That really helped. I’ve been feeling apathetic and exhausted for weeks, but now I’m almost completely back to myself.”

“Of course,” Steve replies. “You want to lie back down, try to get some more rest?”

“That sounds good,” Bucky answers sleepily. They lie back down and are both asleep within minutes.

Once they wake up, Bucky is feeling mostly back to normal. The rest of the day passes much like one before they were separated. Mostly boredom, some light conversation to pass the time. They end up back playing “What would you be doing” to depressingly entertain themselves.

“Let’s pretend it’s a Saturday,” Steve starts off, not having any clue what day of the week it actually is. “And it’s evening. What would you be doing? And be honest, not what you would like to be doing, but what would you actually be doing.”

“Taking a nap,” Bucky answers quickly.

“Ok, that’s boring,” Steve admits. “Then what would you like to be doing?”

Bucky thinks for a long time while he absentmindedly rubs his belly. “Setting up the baby’s room.”

Steve is silent for a long time before he responds. “We’ll get out of here, and you can do just that.”

“I’m tired of your optimism. It’s not likely we’ll get out of here in time, if at all.” Bucky shakes his head. “I’d love for it to be true, but it’s not.”

“You just…” Steve starts.

“Gotta have faith,” Bucky finishes. “I hear you, Steve, I do. But we have to face the facts.”

“The facts are that you have no idea what’s going on outside these walls,” Steve reminds him. “Things could have turned around by now.”

“Ziegler sure acted like Hydra was still in charge of everything,” Bucky tells him.

“Who is Ziegler?” Steve asks.

“Oh, he’s the Hydra man who was there when they dosed us the that pink pollen. He told me exactly what he plans for our daughter, and it’s not good.”

“He can dream, but that doesn’t mean that everything is going well for Hydra up top.” Bucky sighs and Steve stops pushing. “Well then, let’s go back to ‘What would you be doing’ if it’s not too depressing.”

“Sure,” Bucky responds. “I’m used to depressing anyways.”

“Let’s start light,” Steve begins. “What color would the walls be?”

“Not pink,” Bucky replies immediately. “Something more neutral, like a green or a yellow.”

“Well, someone has opinions,” Steve teases.

“I just hate surrounding girls all in pink. Let them make a choice about what color they’ll like.”

“Sounds like you’ll be a good parent, Buck.” Steve says. Seeing how sad that makes him, Steve asks another question. “So will you be painting the room by yourself, or would you have help?”

“Steve!” Bucky fake exclaims. “I can’t inhale pain fumes! You better nut up as Alpha and paint that room yourself.”

“You’d want me there?” Steve asks quietly.

“Of course I’d want you there,” Bucky replies. “We’re in this together. Where did you think you’d be?”

“I just thought, just because I’m the biological Alpha parent, doesn’t mean that you’d want me raising your child.”

“Steve,” Bucky says, “I can’t think of anyone else I’d rather raise my child with. You’d be a great parent.”

“But I’m not your Alpha.” Steve says sullenly. “Surely you’d want to find someone one day.”

Bucky pauses before he speaks again. “We… I…” He stops are starts over. “Before, we never hooked up or got together in any way. But looking back, I don’t know why. You’re my best friend, and the best person I know. Not only do I want you to help me raise our daughter, I want you to be my Alpha. I… I love you.” Bucky finishes his speech with his eyes on the floor, not ready to take in Steve’s reaction.

“You do?” Steve asks.

Bucky takes a deep breath. “Yeah, I do. But if you don’t, I understand.” He is immediately accosted by Steve, his mouth covering his own. Steve pulls back before Bucky can understand what is happening. When he registers what just happened, he pushes forward himself and returns the kiss.

They kiss for a short while before Steve pulls away again. “I never knew you felt that way,” Steve says.

“What about you? You’ve never said anything,” Bucky responds.

“Because I never knew you felt that way.”

“I think,” Bucky says slowly, “That I needed time to see how I really felt about you. But time, and our situation, has given me perspective. I want to be with you.”

“I’ve loved you for a long time,” Steve tells him. “I just never knew how to tell you. When we were kids I thought it was wrong, against God. Later I knew that wasn’t true, but you were gone. When you came back, the timing just didn’t seem right. I never told you, and I’ve regretted that the whole time we’ve been here.”

“Well I know now.” Bucky kisses Steve again, but the man pulls back before long. “What’s wrong?”

“This isn’t exactly the best place for this,” Steve replies.

Bucky laughs. “When do you think we’ll find a good place for this?” Steve looks at him warily. “Seriously, Steve, I want you, and this this the best place we’ve got.” He pushes past Steve’s defenses and kisses him with everything he’s got. He’s not rebuffed this time, and they trade lazy kisses for a while. Soon, Bucky is feeling the excitement deep in his groin and goes to straddle Steve. That’s when Steve pulls back. “What’s wrong?” Bucky asks. “It’s not like you can get me pregnant again.”

Steve laughs deep in his gut. “No I suppose I can’t. But these aren’t the conditions I imagined us in for our first time.”

“While it’s sweet that you’ve imagined our first time, this is what we’ve got. Take it or leave it. I’m really hoping you’ll take it.”

Steve rubs his hands up and down Bucky’s sides before kissing him lightly. “You really want to do this?” he asks.

“I don’t want to die before knowing what it’s like to be with you. This might be our only chance. We don’t know if they’ll take you away or not.” Bucky kisses Steve again, and slips in a little tongue. “Please, let’s have this tonight.”

“Ok,” Steve breathes before he kisses Bucky deeply. Bucky finishes climbing into Steve’s lap and they kiss each other breathlessly, open-mouthed like they’re drowning.

Bucky pushes his crotch into Steve’s lap, and Steve greets him with a hand to his groin. Bucky moans into the kiss as he feels the friction, causing Steve to break the kiss so he can suck on Bucky’s neck. Bucky throws his head back and let’s out a broken noise that he can’t control. “Let it out, I’ve got you,” Steve tells him.

Steve suddenly picks him up off his lap and places him on the floor. He trails kisses down Bucky’s stomach until he reaches his underwear. Steve plays with the hem instead of taking them off. “Are you sure?”

Bucky nods quickly, having lost his ability to speak, but Steve still doesn’t move. “Y-yes,” Bucky finally stutters out and Steve immediately removes Bucky’s shorts. His dick springs free, fully hard. Steve gives him a stroke or two before diving in with his mouth.

Bucky’s world explodes with sensation. Steve has clearly done this before. He has Bucky leaking and begging in no time. His tongue swirls around the head deliciously before Bucky has an awareness of another feeling. Steve’s finger is circling around his entrance, collecting the slick that leaked out of him, but not pushing in yet. “Steve, please,” he begs and he finally pushes the finger in.

Steve doesn’t let up on his dick while he fingers him. He strikes up a rhythm, and both his mouth and his finger follow suit. Bucky is just about going wild with sensation, but he holds himself back because he wants to wait for Steve’s knot. Steve adds another finger and hooks them up to massage his prostate. Bucky’s not going to last much longer like this.

“Steve, stop,” he yells. He looks down at Steve who has stopped as soon as he asked. “I want you in me. I want your knot.”

Steve smiles and reaches up to kiss Bucky. He can taste himself on Steve, and it goes right to his head. “Whatever you want, Buck,” Steve says while stroking his arm. He puts his fingers back into Bucky and pumps them a few times, making sure that he is ready for Steve to enter him. When Steve feels satisfied, he takes off his own underwear, and strokes himself a few times. Bucky suddenly realizes that he’d been so focused on his own pleasure that he forgot to reciprocate. But those thoughts go away the second that Steve’s head touches his entrance.

Steve moves slowly at first. There is plenty of slick produced from Bucky’s arousal, but Steve still moves at a glacial pace. He picks up the rhythm and Bucky throws his head back and moans. Steve takes that opportunity to once again latch onto Bucky’s neck. His pace becomes frantic, like he can’t control himself anymore. The feeling of Steve’s cock glancing by his prostate is teasing and also everything he could ask for.

When Steve is really pounding into him, he suddenly pulls out. “What’s wrong?” Bucky asks, concerned.

“Nothing,” Steve responds. “I just want to try something.” With one motion he flips Bucky over so that he’s on his hands and knees. Without warning, Steve plunges into him again. He’s not slow this time and pushes in with great force. The angle has Steve hitting Bucky’s prostate straight on with every thrust. It drives Bucky wild and he starts to see stars.

“I’m going to…” Bucky starts, but Steve cuts him off.

“I know, baby. I’m going to take care of you.” He reaches around to grasp Bucky’s dick and strokes it in time with his thrusts. Steve’s knot starts to fill up and lock them together. Thirty seconds later Bucky is shooting his come at the wall. Soon after he feels Steve’s release enter his body and he’s full to bursting with Steve’s knot.

They’re locked together, back to front, and Steve guides them to lie down on the cleanest part of the cell floor. He hugs Bucky as close to him as they can get in that situation. “That was…” Steve starts.

“Amazing,” Bucky finishes. “We should have done that years ago.”

“Yeah,” Steve says. “I regret that you weren’t my first.”

“Who was, if I might ask?”

“Just a few Omegas Natasha threw at me when I thought you were dead. I never had a true relationship with any of them, but apparently Omega’s will bang Captain America on a first date. Some of them practically threw themselves at me. Nat still thinks I was a perfect 1940’s gentleman, but I wasn’t.”

“Haha, that’s great,” Bucky laughs. “I wish we had gotten our shit together earlier too, but a least you didn’t get captured a virgin.”

“What about you?” Steve asks. “I know you were sexually active in the ‘30’s. Who was your first?”

“You know, I don’t remember his name,” Bucky says. “That’s terrible. He was a big strapping guy. Hot as fuck, but a real asshole during the deed. I didn’t tell him I was a virgin, so when I started bleeding on him, he made us go to the bathroom to finish because it was easier to clean. So I got fucked over a sink my first time. Real romantic, huh?”

“That’s awful, Buck. I’m sorry that happened.”

“Well I should have waited for a better Alpha.” He turns to face Steve, conscious that he’s still attached to Steve. “Someone like you. God, how could I have been so blind my whole life? You were right there and I was out fucking assholes.”

“I’m here now,” Steve tells him, stroking his chest where he’s hugging Bucky tight. His hand dips lower and he rubs over the bump in Bucky’s stomach. “Even if things aren’t ideal, I’m proud to be the father of your child.”

Bucky places his hand on top of Steve’s where it lies on his stomach. “I want so badly to raise this child with you, but we won’t get the chance.”

“You don’t know that yet. You just gotta have faith. We’ll get out of here soon.”

“I hope you’re right, Steve. I really do.”


	3. Chapter 3

Months pass and nothing changes. Steve and Bucky don’t have sex again. They don’t feel the need in this desolate prison. Once was enough to show each other how they feel.

Bucky gets huge fast. The baby is growing up, and Bucky’s got the stretch marks to prove it. He and Steve sleep with him as the little spoon and both their hands resting on Bucky’s belly. Soon after Steve and Bucky were reunited, the baby starting kicking for the first time. Steve kept missing it when it happened because it would only be a kick or two, but one day the little girl kept kicking and Steve got to feel it. They both sat there holding Bucky’s stomach long after she stopped kicking, staring into each other’s eyes and smiling.

One day Bucky wakes up with a sharp pain in his stomach. His morning sickness is gone and it doesn’t feel like nausea, so he doesn’t know what is going on. The pain soon fades and he tries to forget about it and go back to sleep. Before he can drift off, another quick stab of pain shoots through his body, starting with his abdomen. He cries out softly and a hand clings to his belly.

“What’s up?” Steve asks. The sound or the movement must have woken him up.

“I don’t know,” Bucky replies. “Something feels wrong.” After he speaks he gets another stabbing pain and he knows that something is going wrong with the baby. Steve starts to get up to see what’s wrong. As his gaze travels down Bucky’s body to his stomach, his face drops. “What is it?” Bucky asks, suddenly terrified for his daughter.

“Bucky, move,” Steve says suddenly. With the stabbing pain coming more regularly, that isn’t going to happen on his own. So he reaches out to Steve to help move him, still not knowing what is going on.

Steve moves him up from where he’s lying, and then he can see it. He was sitting on a huge pool of blood that must have come from him. “Guards!” Steve shouts before Bucky can process what is going on. “Help, please.” One of the guards slowly meanders into view, and Steve goes up to the cell door to talk to him. “He’s bleeding. There’s something wrong with the baby.”

“Shit,” one of the guards says. “Boss’ll kill us if it dies on our watch.”

“Then let’s take him to medical,” the other one says.

“Ok, hands up,” the first guard says to Steve, “Up against the wall.” Steve complies immediately, wanting Bucky to be taken to a doctor as soon as possible. Bucky just lies there in a growing pool of his own blood occasionally clutching his stomach.

The guards drag him out of the cell, down now familiar corridors to the medical wing. There is no one there when they arrive, likely since it is the middle of the night, though Bucky has no notion of what the real time might be. The guards strap him to the table and one of them leaves in search of medical personnel. Bucky has no choice but to lie there, the pain increasing steadily and the blood still flowing.

Suddenly the doors burst open and the doctor that Bucky has seen so many times comes in looking frantic. A nurse follows him in right at his heels. “How long has he been like this,” the doctor asks.

“Don’t know,” one of the guards responds. “The other one came and got us about ten minutes ago.

The doctor turns to the nurse and says, “Get some O+ blood. There is some in the fridge downstairs for emergencies.” The doctor then comes up to Bucky and starts unbinding his legs.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you, doc,” the guard tells him.

“Does it look like he’s in any condition to hurt me,” the doctor replies. He lifts Bucky’s legs into the stirrups and takes off his ruined shorts. He proceeds to put his gloved hand up Bucky’s cloaca. Bucky protests and the doctor shoots him down. “If I don’t find the root cause, you’ll not only lose the baby, you’ll bleed out and die. So stop resisting.” Bucky remains still after that. He won’t be the cause of his baby’s death, nor his own.

The nurse comes back with the blood and they hook Bucky up to a transfusion. They’ve also got a speculum in him and are checking for the cause of the bleeding. Bucky fades in and out, so he doesn’t hear what the doctor and nurse are saying anymore. All he knows if that he hurts and that they Hydra doctor is actually trying to help him.

Eventually he passes out, and when he comes to he is still in the medical wing, but the transfusion of blood is gone and his legs are not longer in the stirrups. He’s strapped down and the doctor is milling about in the lab.

“Ah, you’re awake,” the doctor says when he turns around to look at Bucky. “I was just about to do an ultrasound to make sure everything is healthy.”

“The baby,” Bucky croaks out, “She’s ok?”

“It was a near miss,” the doctor responds, “But I can’t still hear a strong heartbeat. She should be doing fine. The ultrasound should tell us more.” He preps the gel and rubs it over Bucky’s stomach. Bucky has gotten used to this now and barely notices when the wand touches his skin. His eyes are focused on the ultrasound monitor.

Every new ultrasound is an experience. At this point his baby looks like a real child. Arms, legs, a head, all show up on the monitor immediately. She no longer looks like an alien, but resembles an infant. Bucky gets mesmerized by the ultrasound, forgetting for a moment that he almost lost her.

“We seem to have stopped the bleeding,” the doctor has been saying, “And the child looks normal for it’s age. I think we really dodged a bullet here.”

Bucky breathes easier when he hears this. His daughter is safe for now. Despite the turmoil of the night before, he didn’t lose her.  

They take him back to his cell on a gurney. That’s his indication that he’ll need to take it easy for a while. When they arrive, Steve is up like a shot trying to get a good look at Bucky. The guards have to order him to back up and put his hands on his head before they’ll even consider opening the door. When he eventually complies, they lift Bucky off the gurney and actually lay him down gently onto the cell floor.

When they leave, Steve immediately bends down to look Bucky over. “Are you ok?” he asks. “You’ve been gone so long, I was getting worried.”

“I’m fine now, Steve. The baby’s fine too.”

“What happened?” Steve asks him. “What caused the bleeding?”

“I don’t know,” Bucky answers. “I was pretty out of it, and they didn’t tell me. I think they did surgery to fix whatever the problem was.”

“I know,” Steve says. “I can see the scar.”

“What? Where?” Bucky asks. Steve points to an area below his stomach that he can’t see. He’s gotten so big now that he can’t see the underside of his belly. “I didn’t realize they cut me open. I passed out relatively quickly after they brought me to the medical wing.”

“You were gone for at least 24 hours. Maybe longer. It’s hard to tell in here. It sure felt like forever not knowing what was happening to you.”

“I’m sorry I worried you, Steve.” Bucky lifts a hand to cup Steve’s cheek. The worry lines are still on his face and he’s hovering. “I’m fine. You don’t have to worry anymore.”

“There was just so much blood,” Steve says. “Normally that wouldn’t bother me. You’ve survived worse before. But you haven’t been up to your old strength lately. I didn’t know how much you and the baby could take.”

Steve’s right. The baby is taking his energy now and he doesn’t have supersoldier strength. He barely has any strength at all. “You shouldn’t put yourself through so much unnecessary worry when there is nothing you can do about it.”

“I can’t help it,” Steve tells him. “I worry whenever they take you away for tests. I never know if you’re coming back, or what the tests are going to say. You’re so weak, I’m afraid for you and the baby.”

“The baby is fine. They did another ultrasound and she looks healthy.”

“How can you tell?”

“The doctor said she was healthy. Two arms, two legs, what is there to worry about.” Bucky leans his head back and closes his eyes. He can still see the ultrasound in his mind. “I can’t wait to see her in person, but it means having her taken away. My heart’s going to break that day.”

“Aw, Buck, don’t think about that. Stay focused on today, or on the day we’ll get her back.”

“Get her back? I thought you were so sure we’d escape by then.”

Steve sighs. “Well the window for that is getting shorter. And you’re in no condition for running anyways. You’d have to be carried. We might be able to pull it off anyways, but it might be better after you give birth. But I promise we’ll get her back. Have faith.”

“I don’t want to hear about your mythical rescue,” Bucky tells him. “Change the subject.”

“What do you want to name her?”

Bucky laughs. The question seems so normal, like he’s not lying in a dirty cell in Hydra’s basement. “I can’t know what her name is until I’ve met her, Steve.”

“That’s ridiculous, you’ve got to have some ideas.”

“I’m guessing you’ve got some.”

“Just of the top of my head I could come up with a few.”

“Well let’s hear them,” Bucky says.

“I don’t want to influence you if you’re really into this whole Zen ‘meeting the baby first’ thing,” Steve shifts to get into a more comfortable position. “I don’t understand it, but I’ll let you do your thing.”

“You’ll let me name the baby on my own?” Bucky asks.

“I think you’ve earned naming rights, Buck.”

“She’s your child too,” he tells Steve. “You should be there when she’s delivered.”

“I wish that were possible,” Steve agrees. “I don’t want you to go through that alone.”

* * *

Two months later Bucky goes into labor. He doesn’t want it to be happening, so he ignores it at first. The contractions are short, and spaced far apart, so it’s easy to push it aside. But they start to come faster, and soon Steve notices something is off.

“What’s wrong? Are you in pain? Should I call the guards?” Steve shoots out these questions so fast there’s no possible way for Bucky to respond.

“I think,” Bucky says very slowly and softly, “That I’m going into labor.”

“Oh,” Steve says a little dumbfounded. He’s just like every other Alpha parent who doesn’t know what to do when their first child comes. “I guess I should call the guards.”

“NO!” Bucky urgently shouts, then immediately lowers his voice. “I don’t want to be taken away from you.”

“You need medical attention,” Steve answers firmly. “They’re going to figure out what’s going on soon anyways.”

“Plenty of people give birth without doctors. Please, just let me stay here as long as I can.” Bucky gives his best puppy dog expression, but it’s ruined by another contraction.

“Ok,” Steve says slowly, obviously not happy with the plan. “But if the pain gets too bad I’m calling the guards.

Bucky nods and breathes through the pain. He now has to hide it from both the guards and Steve. It’s not the worse pain he’s been through, torture at the hands of Hydra is much worse, but it is very sharp and intense. He’s having trouble keeping quiet.

Steve settles down next to Bucky’s right side and takes his hand. “I know this is painful, Buck.”

Bucky just knows he’s not talking about the physical pain. “I can’t lose her to Hydra.” The tears that he didn’t know were there come pouring out of him now, like they were waiting for Bucky to acknowledge the problem. “I don’t know if I can survive that.”

Steve rubs up and down Bucky’s flesh arm. “Don’t worry. They won’t harm her while she’s just a baby. We’ll get her back before long.”

“You promise?” Bucky says. He’s finally ready to hear out Steve’s ideas about being rescued. Right now the hope is the only thing keeping him together.

“I do promise, we’ll raise our daughter ourselves.”

“How are you so confident?” Bucky needs that confidence himself right now.

“I just have faith is all,” Steve replies.

“Faith?” Bucky asks. “In God?”

“Not particularly. In us. In our friends. Faith that the world won’t let a child fall prey to Hydra.”

“Faith,” Bucky repeats. “I wish I had as much as you.”

“You’ll get there, Buck.”

Hours pass and nothing changes. The contractions get closer together, but Bucky gets better at breathing through them and doesn’t get caught by the guards. They pass the cell occasionally, but it seems they haven’t noticed anything amiss.

“How do you feel?” Steve asks, breaking the silence that had descended on them.

“I feel like I want to push,” he replies.

“Uh, don’t do that,” Steve says. “I think your contractions need to be a lot closer together before you push.”

“Don’t worry,” Bucky tells him. “I don’t want to push at all. That means she’ll be taken away.”

“Don’t let that stop you when the time comes,” Steve says. “You’ll need to push eventually. You can’t stop nature.”

Bucky let’s loose a short cry as another contraction takes him off guard. Steve looks concerned but he doesn’t call for help, which Bucky appreciates. “I’ve got this, don’t worry.”

“You really should be in the medical wing, Bucky.”

“You promised.” Bucky grips his hand as if he could stop Steve from revealing his condition.

“I did, and I’m not going to call the guards yet. I was just hoping you had changed your mind.”

“Not yet,” Bucky tells him.

An hour or two passes and the pain is starting to get overwhelming. Bucky is sweating and he can’t do anything to hide it from Steve.

“Bucky, I’m starting to get concerned,” Steve says. “Your contractions are getting pretty close together and you really look like you’re in a lot of pain.”

“I’m staying here, Steve,” Bucky grits out through his teeth. “I’ll give birth here if I can get away with it.”

“I hope that you’re not doing this for me. So that I can meet our daughter.” Steve looks so sad, that Bucky wants to tell him it’s not true, but there is some veracity to it.

“I want her introduction to the world to be with parents who love her, not Hydra goons who just want to use her.” Bucky grits his way through another contraction before Steve can respond.

“I understand that impulse,” Steve tells him. “But it’s not going to matter to her. She won’t remember it.”

“I want to be here with you,” Bucky admits. “And I’ll remember it.”

“Ok,” Steve says calmly trying to sooth him. “I’ll help you hide it as long as possible.”

That doesn’t last another hour before Bucky can’t stay quiet anymore. He grunts his way through another contraction right when a guard is passing by the cell. “Hey,” he says. “What’s going on in there?”

“Nothing,” Steve says quickly. “We’re fine in here.”

The guard shines a flashlight in the cell and gets a good look at Bucky. He’s sweating and flushed like a just ran several miles, but he hasn’t moved an inch. The guard is suspicious now, so he doesn’t control the next contraction. Steve looks as startled as the guard because he screams so loud. “Hey Carl,” the guard calls out. “Call into medical. We’re taking the pregnant one in.”

“No,” Bucky groans, but he knows it’s no use.

“You didn’t tell me they were that bad,” Steve mutters to him before the guard, Carl, comes into view.

“I didn’t want you to force me to the medical wing,” Bucky says. “I’m scared, Steve. I’m so scared.”

“You’ll get through this, Buck. You just gotta have faith.”

“Faith,” Bucky repeats as Steve is forced away from him and the guards come to take him away.

They don’t drag him far before they’re met by a man in hospital scrubs with a gurney. They don’t bother to strap him down. He’s too weak to fight them now and they know it. They get to the medical suite too quickly and Bucky is transferred to the exam table. This time he is strapped down with reinforced restraints and his legs are strapped to the stirrups. The doctor arrives right as another contraction hits.

“Ah, yes, I see he’s in labor. Right on schedule.” The doctor puts on some gloves and settles himself down by Bucky’s feet. He starts arranging his tools on a cart when another contraction hits. He doesn’t bother trying to hide the pain anymore, and he surprises himself at how loud his is. “Was that another contraction?” he looks around and realizes he is the only medical professional in the room. “That’s too soon.” He turns to the guards. “How long has he been like this?” One of them, Carl Bucky thinks, shrugs and the doctor goes berserk. “I told you specifically what signs to look for. How could you not have noticed?” He throws his hands up in the air. “Just go get Nurse Crichton, right away.”

The doctor gets out the speculum and wastes no time inserting in inside Bucky. He’s leaning over checking something when the nurse comes in. “Thank goodness you hurried,” the doctor says. “We’re at nine centimeters, and contractions every three minutes or so.” He’s interrupted by another contraction of Bucky’s, this time more painful with the speculum inserted. After it finishes, the doctor carries on like nothing happened. “We’re not going to get all the tests in before he gives birth, so let’s get started.”

The nurse straps a device over Bucky’s stomach and attaches it to a monitor. He hears the familiar sound of the baby’s beating heart. He relaxes a bit at the hope that the “tests” won’t be invasive. A pulse monitor is placed on his finger and the sound of his heartbeat joins that of his daughter.

“Ten centimeters,” the doctor calls from below Bucky. The nurse starts unstrapping the device on Bucky’s stomach. “No, leave that, we haven’t gotten enough readings.” The doctor turns to Bucky. “Now, on your next contraction you need to push. Your daughter is ready to be born.”

Bucky’s next contraction comes within 30 seconds of the doctor telling him to push, but he does nothing. “Did you not hear me?” the doctor asks impatiently. “You need to push.” The next contraction comes and the pain is near unbearable, but he still doesn’t push. “What the hell is wrong with you,” the doctor yells at him.

Nurse Crichton pulls him away. “Let me handle this,” she says. “Bucky, darling,” she starts, all syrupy sweet. “We need you to push. Your daughter is ready to come out into the world, but you need to help her.” Bucky endures another contraction without pushing. It’s a hard instinct to fight, but he does. “Honey, you’re killing you daughter.” Bucky looks straight in her eye and sees it isn’t a lie. She points to the indecipherable monitors. “See here. She won’t survive much more of this, you have to push.”

And on the next contraction he does. He bears down and pushes with all his might, which at the moment isn’t too considerable. After it is over Bucky takes in as much breath as he can get, knowing the next contraction is not far behind. When it hits, he pushes again. When it stops again he cries, because he knows it’s not too long now before they take his daughter away. Each push drives her further from him.

“I can see the head crowning,” the doctor says. “Keep pushing every time a contraction hits. Bucky doesn’t need to be told again, and when the next one hits, he pushes as hard has he can. He can feel the baby shoving it’s way past his cloacal opening, tearing the skin as she goes. But soon she’s out completely and Bucky can hear her crying.

Nurse Crichton takes the baby to a table not far away. She cleans out the baby’s nose and mouth and starts cleaning her of blood and other fluids. “I want to see her,” Bucky pleads, but no one listens to him. “Please let me hold her at least one time.”

“You’ve still got work to do, Sgt. Barnes. You’ve got the afterbirth to worry about.”

“I don’t give a shit,” Bucky tells the doctor and nurse. I want to see my child.”

“I’m sorry, but she’s not yours,” the doctor tells him. “She belongs to Hydra.”

Bucky closes his eyes. What would Steve say right now? He would say that he has to have faith that they’ll get her back, and soon. Faith, faith, faith. He repeats this to himself until he starts to feel it. Opening his eyes he calls out “Faith! That’s her name.”

“I believe Hydra is going with ‘Test subject one’.” The doctor looks smug as he says this. The nurse is still cleaning up Faith, but she seems to be going slowly. Bucky turns his head to the table she’s on and takes in the sight of his daughter. “Take the child to exam room two,” the doctor says. “I’ll check her over when we’re done here.”

“No!” Bucky screams. “Don’t take her. Faith!” he pulls hard on his bonds, but he isn’t going anywhere. “Please don’t take her. Faith! Come back with her!” All his struggling is to not avail because the nurse leaves with Faith and doesn’t come back.

* * *

They leave him tied up on the exam table for days. Bucky is feeling drained from the birth, and wouldn’t be surprised if something were wrong with him. The doctors don’t tell him anything though, and he is left alone for hours. Occasionally he screams for Faith to be brought back to him, but nobody listens to him.

Eventually he is brought back to the cell on a gurney. He’s still too weak to walk or fight his restraints. Steve is still there when he arrives, thank god for small miracles. Bucky feared he would be gone already. He doesn’t serve a purpose now that the risk of Alpha Absence Syndrome is gone. But he’s there and dutifully lines up against the wall while Bucky is brought into the cell.

As soon as the guards leave, Steve is down on the floor next to Bucky assessing his condition. “Bucky!” he exclaims excitedly, “You were gone so long, I wasn’t sure they would bring you back. How are you?”

“I’m real tired, Steve,” Bucky responds. “I’m drained from the birth.”

“At least you’re alright,” Steve says. “I was worried that something had happened to you.”

“Nothing happened, it was just tiring. They wanted to run tests on me, I think that’s why they kept me so long.”

“I’m glad you’re well.” Steve brushes some hair out of Bucky’s eyes and looks down fondly at him. Bucky starts to cry when he sees Steve. “What’s wrong, babe?” Steve asks. “Why are you crying?”

“I couldn’t stop them. They took her. They took Faith and I couldn’t do anything at all.”

“Faith?” Steve asks.

Bucky stops crying for a second and realizes that Steve doesn’t yet know the name he’s given their daughter. “The baby. I named her Faith. As in faith that we’re going to get her back.”

Steve starts to tear up too at this point. “That’s right. We are going to get her back. It’s the perfect name, Bucky. I couldn’t have chosen better myself.”

“We have to get her back,” Bucky responds. “She can’t be left with Hydra for long.”

“I promised, didn’t I?” Steve says. “I won’t break that promise. We are going to get our little girl back.”

Bucky climbs into Steve’s arms and cries as hard as possible. He needs to get out these emotions so he can get past them. Despite knowing this day was coming, he’s not ready to accept that his daughter is gone. Steve just lets Bucky cry it out. He rubs Bucky’s back while the tears soak Steve’s chest.

Eventually he pulls himself away from Steve. “I thought this would break me,” he says, “But I guess I have more faith than I thought. I actually believe that we can get her back.”

“That’s good, Buck. Faith is a good thing.”

“But I don’t believe that the Avengers could have possibly escaped Hydra. We have to do this ourselves, but I don’t see how.” Bucky stares at Steve, willing him to give an answer to their problems.

“I don’t think we can do this ourselves,” Steve answers. “We need to wait for the Avengers to come. At least some of them must have survived. They’ll get us out.”

“No way they’re still out there, much less looking for us. If they’ve survived they’ll be looking to take Hydra out.”

“That’s why they’ll need us,” Steve says. “They’ll come looking, and if they have enough members free, they’ll easily be able to take this place down. Really, all they need is one Hulk.”

“Ok, faith,” Bucky tells himself. “The Avengers will come.”

“That’s right,” Steve says. “That’s how you do it. Faith. See how that’s the most perfect name you could have given our daughter.”

“At the time it seemed right,” Bucky admits. “I’ve gotta have more faith or I’ll lose it in here.”

* * *

A few days later they take Steve away and don’t bring him back. They leave Bucky to heal. When he’s able to stand up, he paces the cell worrying about Steve. The guards notice he is able to stand and they tell whoever is in charge on the radio. Bucky doesn’t care. He just wants to see Steve again.

Ziegler shows up a few days later. He sees Bucky standing up in the corner and smiles. “I see you are feeling better, Sgt. Barnes.”

“Fuck you, where is my daughter?” Bucky grabs the bars to the cell to make the point of how much shit is isn’t willing to take from Ziegler.

“Test subject one is doing remarkably well. She shows all the signs of being a supersoldier.” Ziegler smiles a mocking smile. “We’ve even tested her healing factor.”

Bucky lunges at Ziegler through the bars, but he can’t reach the man. Testing her healing factor means they’ve harmed her, just for their stupid tests. “I will get out of here,” Bucky says, “And when I do, I will strangle you for what you’ve done.”

“Very nice, Sgt. Barnes,” Ziegler states, “I’m glad your imagination is intact. But I don’t believe that scenario is going to take place. You’re in the most secure Hydra facility. You won’t be getting out.”

“I have faith,” Bucky disagrees.

“Ah, yes,” Ziegler states. “I heard what you decided to name Test subject one. Faith. What an awful name. If she was actually yours, she’d hate you for it.”

“Fuck you.” Bucky is running out of insults. “That’s her real name. She’s not a test subject she’s a person. And as her Omega parent, I have named her Faith.”

“Right,” Ziegler says. “Well you seem to be doing much better. The doctor warned me that you might still need bed rest. But you’re walking and hurling insults, so I guess you are ready to be taken to your old cell.”

Bucky shrinks back from Ziegler. He knows that his old cell means torture. But he doesn’t want to show the man he’s scared. “I’m ready for whatever pathetic torture you’ve got for me today.”

“Great, we’ll get started right away.” And with that, Bucky is taken from the cell he shared with Steve and dragged back to the smaller cell where he has endured all of his recent torture at the hands of Hydra.


	4. Chapter 4

Bucky has no idea how much time passes when he is once again being dragged down the corridors. Likely months. When he reaches the cell he shared with Steve during his pregnancy, he knows it’s been months. He must be ready to go into heat again. Steve is brought in sometime later, and he looks a mess. His face and chest are a mass of bruises and it looks like he can’t walk because his feet have been whipped. That last is a favorite of Hydra’s. They like that it limits a prisoner’s movement, and thus escape opportunities, while simultaneously delivering a whole lot of pain to a sensitive area.

Bucky is battered up as well, but he makes himself crawl over to Steve as soon as the guards leave. He hovers, looking Steve over, like he could do anything for the pain. Steve rolls onto his back and stares up at him. “You’re hurt,” Bucky says to him.

Steve just laughs and then grabs what are likely broken ribs to stop the pain from laughing. “I’m hurt? You look like you’ve gone through a meat grinder.”

“Possibly I have, but your face is the wrong color.”

Steve stops laughing and opens his arms for Bucky. It’s clear what he wants, so Bucky wastes no time getting back down on the dirty cell floor and snuggling his way into Steve’s arms. He avoids the face and chest and curls lightly into his side. “I missed you,” he tells Steve.

“I missed you too,” Steve says and kisses the top of Bucky’s head.

“It’s going to start all over again, isn’t it?” Bucky asks, referring to the sex pollen, the pregnancy, another child being taken from him.

“Very likely,” Steve says soberly.

“I can’t go through it again,” Bucky tells him. “I won’t let them do that to me again. They’ll never stop.”

“What are you saying, Buck? What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know,” Bucky admits, “But I have to do something.”

Steve looks very concerned, and the worry lines are pulling at the bruised muscles in his face, so it can’t be comfortable. “I can’t imagine what it was like for you, Bucky, but you have to stay strong, for Faith. We need to get out of here in one piece so we can rescue her.”

“Then what are we going to do?” Bucky asks him, hoping he has the answers.

“I don’t know, Buck, but the first step is hanging on.”

It’s days before Bucky’s heat comes on, and with their healing factors, that’s all they needed to heal up completely. Steve and Bucky separate reluctantly, keeping to opposite sides of the cell. But Bucky knows this is only a temporary stopgap. “They’re going to dose us with that pink pollen if we don’t cooperate.” Bucky calls over to Steve, who seems to be struggling more than Bucky.

“Why? You’d rather give them what they want willingly?” Steve asks. “’Cause my body is ready for that, but I don’t think that’s what you want to do.”

“No, of course not,” Bucky replies. “It’s just…” Bucky doesn’t want to admit this, but this is Steve. “I’m just scared.”

“Of the pollen?”

“Yeah,” Bucky admits. “I don’t like that Hydra can control us like that. Not to mention I’m scared of getting pregnant again.”

“I’m sorry, Buck, but there’s nothing I can do.”

“I know,” Bucky says. “I just needed to tell you.”

“Don’t worry Sgt. Barnes,” an ominous voice comes from down the corridor. “This won’t hurt a bit.” Ziegler comes into view carrying a gas mask and a clear canister with a pink mist swirling around inside.

“No,” Bucky pleads, “Please don’t.”

“I wouldn’t have to if you two would just comply during your heats,” Ziegler explains. And with no further ado, he rips the lid off the canister and throws it into the cell.

Bucky ducks his head down and tries not to breathe deeply, but it’s to no avail. The pink gas gets everywhere and soon he can feel its effects. Before he’s fully under though, Steve is roughly pulling him away from the bars and throwing him to the center of the cell. He makes short work of Bucky’s underwear leaving him naked on the cell floor with Ziegler still watching through his gas mask.

“Steve, don’t, please,” Bucky begs while Steve covers his body with his own and starts kissing him. Bucky kisses back, unable to fight the pollen any longer. One of Steve’s hands trails lower and strokes Bucky’s dick. “God yes,” Bucky exclaims, now fully controlled by the pollen.

There’s no ceremony, they don’t take their time to explore each other’s bodies. The heat and the pollen combine to make one thing intensely necessary – knotting. Slick is flowing from Bucky and Steve moves his hand from Bucky’s dick to slide a few fingers into his cloaca. The heat has opened him up so that prep is unnecessary, so he urges Steve get a move on. “Steve!” He shouts. “I need you in me, right now.” Steve complies, but first he smears his fingers with slick and rubs it along his cock. He lines up and pushes in with no further preamble.

The sex is rough, but neither of them is complaining. They are hurtling towards release with no concern about how they get there. Bucky moans loudly and Steve leans down to stifle the sound with his mouth, kissing him deeply as he pounds into him. Bucky scratches Steve’s back as he tries to pull him impossibly closer.

Steve pulls back and growls like a wild animal. The sound tears Bucky out of the moment and for a few seconds he just lies there with Steve thrusting in and out of him before his brain wakes up again. “Steve, stop, this isn’t right.” Steve ignores him and keeps on going. The single mindedness is starting to clear in Bucky’s brain, and he starting to remember why he feared the pollen.

“Steve! Get off me,” Bucky shouts and tries to fight Steve off. But Steve holds him down with both hands and continues to thrust into him. Bucky starts to cry in frustration when he can’t get out of the position he’s in. He needs Steve to listen, but Steve is going off animal instinct now and Bucky doesn’t know if he can even hear him.  

“Steve,” he pleads more softly and cups Steve’s face. “You need to stop. You can’t knot me, please.” He starts to feel Steve’s knot grow inside him. Soon they’ll be locked together and nothing Bucky does will stop him from getting pregnant. “Please, Steve, I’m scared.” That gets Steve’s attention. He looks at Bucky’s face, which is a mess from crying and stops what he’s doing. He continues holds Bucky down for a time, while his growing knot is still inside Bucky. “Please,” Bucky says softly with tears streaming from his eyes. Steve gets the message and pulls out. He runs to the far corner and jerks himself off. Bucky stays where he is and does the same. They both know that the pollen will clear itself from their heads as soon as they orgasm.

When they’ve both come, Bucky sees Ziegler stomping out of sight down the corridor. He hears muttering coming from Steve, but he can’t quite make out the words. He pulls himself up slowly, feeling the twinges of pain that come from rough sex. As he walks towards Steve, he can pick up what he’s saying. He’s apologizing over and over under his breath. Bucky can tell that he’s also rocking back and forth and crying.

Bucky leans down and puts a hand on Steve’s shoulder. Steve flinches so hard he almost falls over. “Steve,” Bucky says, putting a stop to his muttered apologies. “Thank you.”

Steve looks up confused. “Why are you thanking me? I just raped you, Bucky.”

“And then you stopped and saved me from another pregnancy,” Bucky replies. “You took control of yourself when it was hardest to do. You stopped when it mattered.”

“But I _raped_ you, Bucky. I held you down when you said no. How can you forgive me?”

“I’ll admit, that wasn’t pleasant, but you weren’t in control, so there is nothing to forgive.” Bucky bends down to be at eye level with Steve. “I want to thank you for stopping.”

“That’s not how this works,” Steve counters. “I should be punished.”

“Don’t you think you’ve been punished enough lately?” Bucky asks. He sighs. “Fine, for your crime, I want you to be forced to comfort me.”

“Aw, Bucky,” Steve says as he puts his arms around him. “I’m so sorry.”

Bucky starts sobbing into Steve’s chest, but they are grateful tears. “Thank you,” he says to Steve. “Thank you for listening to me and pulling out.”

“We’ve shown today that we can fight the pollen,” Steve tells him as he rubs his back. “You should be safe now. They can’t make us do anything. Not through torture, not through chemicals. You won’t be getting pregnant again.”

“Thank god,” Bucky says and holds Steve tighter.

They take Steve away before Bucky’s heat is even over. Bucky can imagine the torture is going to rough after they pissed off Ziegler. Bucky’s turn comes a few days later, and his suspicion was confirmed. Ziegler was often present, overseeing Bucky’s torture. He didn’t seem to want anything except seeing him punished for his failure to get pregnant.

When his heat starts to come on, they finally stop, leaving him to heal for a few days. But they don’t take him back to the cell his shares with Steve. Instead, they strap him to a gurney and roll him into the medical wing. Strapped down he can’t see much more than the ceiling, but his heightened heat senses can smell Steve.

“Steve!” Bucky call outs, hoping his senses are correct.

“Bucky? Is that you?” Steve answers.

“Yes! Do you know what we’re doing here?” Bucky asks

“Not a clue,” Steve replies. “They certainly aren’t treating my injuries.”

“You’re hurt?” Bucky asks concerned.

“Not too badly Buck, don’t worry.”

The doctor comes in then trailed by a few nurses, including Nurse Crichton. The majority of them pass Bucky by and head towards where Steve’s voice had been coming from. Nobody speaks for a while, and Bucky’s curiosity is killing him. The nurses that stop by his table put a blood pressure cuff on his right arm and start taking measurements.

Then he hears a scuffle coming from the area where Steve is being kept. “Get off me,” he hears Steve say. “What are you doing?”

“Don’t fight it Captain Rogers,” the doctor says. “You’ll only succeed in making it hurt.”

“Please don’t,” Steve begs. Bucky needs to know what they are doing to him.

“Steve,” Bucky calls, “What’s happening.” Steve is uncharacteristically silent and doesn’t answer Bucky. “Steve!” he calls again. After a few moments he hears the unmistakable sounds of someone struggling against their bonds.

“What did I say, Captain Rogers,” the doctor chides him. “It will be over soon if you just let it happen.”

“Screw you,” Steve tells him off. He fights some more, and Bucky still has no idea what they are doing to him. “No, no, no” Steve starts repeating. Then he stops fighting.

“See,” the doctor tells him. “That wasn’t so bad.”

“Steve?” Bucky asks more quietly.

“I’m so sorry Buck,” Steve responds.

“Why? What’s going on?” Steve doesn’t respond this time and Bucky is starting to get scared.

The group of nurses comes back to Bucky’s exam table. They gesture for the guards to come over and soon they are lifting Bucky’s legs into the stirrups. Bucky kicks at the guards, but they overpower him with numbers and soon he’s strapped to the stirrups.

The doctor comes in and inserts a speculum. It slides right in with the slick from Bucky’s heat. A nurse comes into view holding what looks like a turkey baster with a clear fluid inside. Bucky’s stomach drops as he guesses what’s in there. He starts to struggle against his bonds, but as always, he’s too tightly restrained to get any leverage. “Get away from me,” Bucky pleads with them. “Don’t do this.

“I finally got Herr Ziegler to adopt my plan rather than using that sex pollen he likes so much,” the doctor states. “No way you can resist this.” He inserts the turkey baster filled with what must be Steve’s semen into Bucky’s cloacal opening and presses down on the bulb.

“No,” Bucky whispers to himself.

“Take them back to their cells,” the doctor orders the guards. Bucky is wheeled down the corridors back to his cell, still strapped to the stirrups. He hears some of the guards snickering, but he his head is a million miles away.

Artificial insemination is rare. Omegas are usually so fertile during their heats that it is rarely deemed necessary. When it is used, the chances of getting pregnant are slim, especially if the donor is not part of the bonded pair. No one is sure why knotting seems to be an important part of fertilization, but it is. Artificial knotting doesn’t do the trick either. Some people suspect it has more to do with the oxytocin released when the couple cuddles while they are knotted together.

Whatever the reason, artificial means are not as productive at producing pregnancy in Omegas. Bucky clings on to this half remembered science lesson as his only hope. Perhaps it won’t work, and Hydra will be back a square one.

* * *

A few weeks later he is brought into the medical suite once again. As soon as he is there, his blood is drawn, and then he is left to lie there alone except for the guards at the door.

The doctor comes in with Ziegler, and Bucky and hear the shouting from across the room. “What do you mean it didn’t work?” Ziegler is asking. “You swore by this procedure. You told me it would work.”

“It will work, you just have to give it a few more chances,” the doctor replies frantically. “It will work eventually.”

“Eventually? We don’t want to sit around waiting forever Herr Doktor.”

Bucky, listening to this conversation, knows that the pregnancy didn’t take. He starts to laugh, quite out of control. Ziegler and the doctor stop their conversation to stare at him.

“You think this is funny?” Ziegler asks. Bucky answer by laughing harder. Ziegler smacks him across the face, which doesn’t stop Bucky, but does slow him down.

“You Hydra people are all alike,” Bucky says when he calms down a bit. “You think you can control everything, everybody. But you can’t. And when things don’t go away you have a hissy fit and try to beat it out of someone.”

“You think you are so perceptive Sgt. Barnes.” Ziegler says. “Maybe you shouldn’t be so smug, since you’re the person I’m going to beat it out of.”

“I don’t even care,” Bucky replies. “I’m safe in the knowledge that you can’t get what you want.”

Ziegler picks up some sort of medical instrument and throws it across the room. It just makes Bucky start laughing again. “Take him back to his cell,” Ziegler tells the guards. “We’ll make him stop laughing soon enough.”

* * *

When they come for him next, his heat is already in full swing. He’s still recovering from the torture that Ziegler had promised him. The man hasn’t been able to get over what happened in the medical ward. This time Ziegler himself shows up to collect him and likely bring him to Steve.

Before they move him though, Ziegler just stands there observing him for a while. Then he says, “Break his arm.”

“What?” Bucky had assumed he would be relatively unharmed since they need him to get pregnant. They had always let him heal before his heat. This was new, and something dangerous, besides the obvious pain of having a broken arm.

The guards come in the cell, and Bucky tries to back away, but he’s still too weak. Two guards hold his right arm out straight and a third gives it a hard kick. Bucky screams in pain but they ignore him. They drop him to the cell floor where he tries to collect his breath and fails.

“Now he’s ready,” Ziegler announces and motions for the guards to drag Bucky down the corridor. They drag him by his newly broken arm, and he barely keeps from screaming the whole way.

They reach the larger cell that Steve and Bucky sometimes share to find Steve already there, but being held in place by four guards. He looks much more healed than Bucky and he definitely doesn’t have broken arms, or legs. It’s another bad sign that they seem to be treating Steve better than Bucky this time around.

“Bucky,” Steve calls out, and one of the guards hits him in the stomach with a baton. Bucky is in so much pain that he can’t keep his feet under him, so he just lets the guards hold him there and hopes they don’t jostle him too much.

“Gas them,” Ziegler orders, but there are not signs of gas masks for the guards this time. Instead, Bucky feels a mask being fitted over his nose and mouth. He looks over to Steve and sees the same thing, but a pink mist is flowing into the mask. Bucky can’t help but breath it in deeply.

They remove the mask soon after putting it on him. He wants to go to Steve but they hold him in place as his erection grows until he’s fully hard. He knows it’s the pollen, but he wants nothing more than to be with Steve right now. But the guards hold him in place and he watches as the mask his held on Steve’s face. At least a full minute passes before they release Steve as well. The guards leave them be and trail out the cell door, but Steve and Bucky don’t notice them at all. They only have eyes for each other.

They meet in the center of the room and kiss until they can’t breathe. Steve lowers Bucky to the floor and palms his dick through his underwear. Bucky groans but removes Steve’s hand. “We can’t Steve,” he says. “We have to fight it.”

Steve growls and rips open Bucky’s underwear. Bucky backs away from him, but Steve grabs a leg and pulls him back towards him again. Bucky can’t do much with his broken arm, but he’s still got fully functioning legs. He flails until a foot socks Steve straight in the jaw. Steve staggers back, but it doesn’t knock any sense in him and he keep coming forward.

“Steve, don’t do this,” Bucky pleads. “You know better. This is Hydra controlling you.” Steve doesn’t listen and doesn’t stop. Bucky gets another kick in, to the chest this time, but it doesn’t stop Steve for long. Steve pulls him in, spreads his legs apart, and pushes his dick in with no warning. Bucky yelps, not because it hurts, but because he was so surprised. Even on the pollen Steve always prepped him a little.

It doesn’t hurt, it feels so good. Bucky’s brain knows that that is the pollen and the heat talking, but he still loses himself in it for a little while. But he eventually comes back to himself again and realizes that Steve is not going to stop. He needs to fight this on his own.

He gets a leg free and jabs Steve in the chin with it. Steve staggers back enough for Bucky to get free. He gets himself to his feet. He knows there is nowhere to go in this cell, but if he can keep Steve off him long enough for the pollen to wear off, then maybe he has a chance.

“Steve,” Bucky says warningly as the man gets up and starts circling him looking for an opening. “You know you don’t want to do this.” Steve lunges in and grabs Bucky’s broken arm. He screams in pain at the broken arm being twisted around, and Steve takes it as an opportunity. He pushes Bucky to the ground again face first and starts taking him from behind. Bucky tries to push him off, but to no avail. There is no leverage from this angle and his struggling is for nothing.

Steve’s knot starts to grow, and Bucky is surprised that it’s happening so fast. It must be the extra dose of pollen that’s accelerating things. He pushes up off the floor with all his strength, but since his arm is still broken, it’s a pathetic attempt. Steve’s knot grows rapidly and Bucky knows they’ll be locked together soon. The pollen in his own system reacts to the knot with pleasure and he feels his orgasm building.

Bucky comes and Steve’s knot locks them in place. A few more thrust and Steve is also coming, shooting his sperm deep into Bucky. He slumps over and breaths deep before awareness comes flooding back to him.

“Oh no,” Steve says. Under him, Bucky is silently sobbing, his back moving up and down and hitching every so often. “Shit! I’m so sorry Bucky.” He repeats this mantra over and over until Bucky finally shushes him.

“Shut up and hold me,” Bucky says between sobs. Steve just does has he’s told, and wraps his arms around Bucky, spooning him from behind.

This time Steve doesn’t talk about how he’s done a bad thing and needs to be punished. He doesn’t talk about not being worthy of forgiveness. All those things are unspoken, but they’re not ready to be said aloud. Right now, Steve is ready to give all the comfort that Bucky needs. They lie there in silence spooning while Bucky cries himself to sleep.

* * *

Two weeks later and they’ve kept Steve and Bucky together. Hydra must be confident that they have a pregnancy. They set Bucky’s arm on the second day and by now it has long healed.

The time spent together has not been pleasant. The two of them barely speak to each other and they certainly don’t seek comfort in each other’s arms anymore. Bucky knows that all the same arguments he spoke before about Steve’s innocence apply here as well, but he can still feel Steve pushing him down and taking what he wanted. Until he gets that image out of his mind, he can hardly bear to look at Steve.

When the guards come to take him to medical, Bucky does risk a glance at Steve. He’s moping, Bucky can tell that, but he tries to give Bucky a hopeful look, like it might be good news.

But when he gets back, Steve knows the answer immediately. It’s written all over his face, but Steve tries not to give in that he knows. “Well?” he asks. Bucky starts crying as answer. Steve opens his arms, unsure of whether Bucky will go to him for comfort. Apparently he needs it this time, because Bucky goes straight into his arms and hugs him tight. Steve guides them down into a sitting position and strokes Bucky’s hair while he cries.

“I can’t do this again Steve,” Bucky tells him. “I won’t survive a second time.”

“I’m so sorry Buck,” Steve tries to mollify him. “I’m sorry that the Avengers haven’t come for us yet.”

“That’s because they are all dead or captured by now,” Bucky says flatly.

“Come on Buck, I thought you had more faith than that.”

“I don’t have any faith anymore,” Bucky replies. “Not now that this is happening again. We’re never getting out of here if we wait on the Avengers.”

“Then if you have a chance to escape, you take it,” Steve tells him. “You don’t worry about me, consider only the baby.”

“But Steve,” Bucky protests, “I can’t leave you here.”

“You have to get out with our child. That’s all that matters.” Steve hugs Bucky closer and Bucky cries on his shoulder. “You promise me that?”

“Yes,” Bucky says softly. “I can’t lose another child.” He pulls back to look at Steve. “I’ll come back for you.”

“You better,” Steve tries to joke with a smile, but it comes out tear stained. Bucky know at that moment that he loves this man, and what he did from the pollen shouldn’t affect their relationship. He reaches down and kisses Steve. It’s wet and snotty, but neither of them cares. It’s short but sweet, and when it’s over, Steve guides Bucky down to lay his head in his lap.

“It’ll be ok babe,” Steve supplies. “We’ll get out of here one way or another.”

* * *

A month later, Bucky is being taken to another medical exam when he gets his chance. They don’t tie his restraints down tight enough, and he gets just enough leverage to get free. Before they get to the medical wing, Bucky is cracking Hydra skulls and running for his life.

But he never got the layout of the place and doesn’t know how to get to the surface. The corridors wind around like a maze and there don’t seem to be any stairs or elevators. Bucky can hear the guards chasing him, but he can’t give up now. He runs until his lungs are burning, then he runs some more.

He turns a corner and finds Hydra goons on the other side. He tries to backtrack, but there are more guards behind him. He runs for the last empty corridor, but finds a dead end. With guards piling up behind him he has no chance to escape. Rather than fight a fight he cannot win, he surrenders.

They don’t take him to his cell with Steve, but back to his old torture cell. He knows they won’t harm him with the baby growing inside him, but he knows it’s meant to intimidate and it’s working.

Ziegler shows up and stares Bucky down. “I’m told you were trying to escape,” he says. “But that can’t be. There’s nowhere to run and every one of my prisoners knows it. So either they’re mistaken, or you really are that stupid to try.”

“It was worth a shot,” Bucky fires back, trying to project confidence in his voice that he doesn’t really feel.

“I see,” Ziegler says. “I suppose I should punish you for this.”

“You can’t hurt me without hurting the baby,” Bucky tells him. “You wouldn’t risk that.”

Ziegler turns to the guards. “Gentlemen,” he starts. “He doesn’t need to be able to walk to give birth. Break his legs.”

“No!” Bucky backs away from the guards entering his cell. They grab him anyways and tie him up to the hook in the ceiling. Another guard comes in with a crowbar, and Bucky scrambles to get purchase so he can get away. The first hit feels like his knee has shattered into pieces, the second bears a sickening crack that sounds loudly throughout the cell. Bucky screams as they continue to break his legs into many pieces. They don’t stop until every bone is broken in at least four places. They include his feet just to make sure that he cannot walk.

When they let him down, he is exhausted from screaming. The pain radiates throughout his body starting from his legs. He’s not ashamed that he weeps from the pain.

They leave him there for a day or two, Bucky can’t keep track. During this time, his whole world is pain. Nothing else matters. Eventually they take him back to the cell he shares with Steve.

Steve fuses over him the minute they drop him in the cell. He helps Bucky roll over onto his back, even though Bucky screams through it. Once on his back, he breathes as deeply as he can and tries to fight the pain, for Steve’s sake.

“Oh, Bucky, what did they do to you?” he asks looking Bucky over.

“It’s just my legs,” Bucky responds, trying to be strong for Steve. “They broke my legs, but left the rest of me alone.”

“Why’d they do this?” Steve asks. “They’ve been keeping you healthy up until now.”

“I tried to escape,” Bucky answers. “I made it out of my bonds and ran. This place is a maze though. I couldn’t even find the stairs.”

“So they broke your legs?” Steve says appalled.

“So that I couldn’t run anymore.”

“But you’ll heal up in a few days anyways, right?” Steve asks.

Bucky looks at Steve and realizes he doesn’t understand. “Steve, my serum isn’t like yours. When you break a bone your serum snaps it back into place before it heals. My serum doesn’t do that. My bones will heal in whatever position they’re left in. So if they aren’t set, they’ll heal wrong. If they leave me like this, I won’t be able to walk until I have surgery to fix the bones.”

“You know this too well,” Steve says suspiciously. “They’ve done this to you before, haven’t they?”

Buck nods. “I escaped once in the seventies. I made it as far as Brooklyn, even though I didn’t remember why it was important. They found me there and brought me back. The first thing they did was break my legs. They left me like that until they needed me for another mission.”

“Goddamn bastards,” Steve swears. “I’m going to fucking kill them.”

“Whoa Steve, don’t go all murdery on me,” Bucky says. “I’m not in a position to stop you.”

“Oh Buck,” Steve says, “I’m so sorry. Is there anything we can do to set your legs in here?”

“Don’t bother, they’re broken in too many places.” Bucky tries to get up on his elbows to look down and his legs, but he fails and flops back down. “You won’t be able to fix them in here.”

“What can I do then?”

“Nothing Steve, I just need time to heal.”

Steve settles down by Bucky’s head and strokes his hair. They stay like that in silence for a time while Bucky tries to fight through the pain.


	5. Chapter 5

**TWO MONTHS LATER**

Bucky wakes up with a start. It takes a minute before he realizes what woke him up. There are sounds like fighting coming from down the corridor. They’re still a long ways off, but Bucky knows the sound a fight makes. He turns to Steve and sees that he is up and listening too.

“It’s the Avengers,” Steve says excitedly.

“Can’t be,” Bucky replies on automatic, but he’s really hoping that it’s true.

“Have faith Bucky.” Steve gets up and tries to peer down the hall.

“Can you see anything?” Bucky asks.

“Not yet, but the sound is getting closer,” he replies. Bucky tries to maneuver himself closer to the bars, but he bends his leg wrong and hisses at the pain. Steve is on him immediately checking he’s ok.

“I’m fine, just bent my knee wrong.” Bucky’s knees are so messed up that bending them even a little causes shooting pains in his legs.

The two of them are so focused on Bucky’s leg pain, that they don’t notice the fighting sounds have stopped until a voice sounds right in front of their cell. “Found ‘em.” They turn to see Natasha Romanoff standing before their eyes in full Black Widow outfit. She’s soon joined by Hawkeye who looks a little battered but he’s still on his feet.

“They’re together? That’s weird.” Clint remarks to himself.

“Holy shit it’s good to see you guys,” Bucky tells Clint and Natasha.

“I told you they’d come,” Steve says, trying not to sound _too_ smug.

“Well we’re not out of here yet,” Natasha says, “So why don’t we get a move on.”

“Either of you hurt?” Clint asks.

“Bucky’s legs are broken,” Steve responds, “He can’t walk.”

“Aww, shit,” Clint says.

Natasha butts in. “You ok enough to carry him?” she asks Steve.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Steve tells her.

“Why is that though?” Clint asks.

“Now is not the time Barton,” Natasha mutters to him.

“It’s just we expected you guys to both be a mess. I know you two can heal faster, but they tortured the fuck out of me when I was their prisoner.”

“Clint, shut up and help me get the cell open,” Natasha nearly shouts at him. “We need to get out of here before reinforcements arrive.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he responds and digs out a set of keys he must have gotten off a guard he took down. He opens the door to the cell and gestures for Steve and Bucky to join them outside it.

Steve leans down and prepares to pick Bucky up. “This is probably going to hurt,” he tells him. Bucky knows that. His legs will be bent and will jostle. He’ll just have to keep a lid on the pain so he doesn’t distract Nat and Clint from what they need to do.

“I’m ready,” he tells Steve. The other man gathers Bucky into his arms and lifts him. Bucky bites his lip to keep from crying out. He holds on to Steve’s neck and puts his face near Steve’s scent gland for comfort.

They start moving down the halls, but they all seem a blur to Bucky. He’s more focused on not gripping Steve to death as his legs are jostled. He trusts Clint and Natasha to get them out of there. They twist through so many corridors and don’t seem to go up.

“Where are the stairs?” Steve asks.

“There are none,” Clint responds. “It’s a gentle slope upwards. You have to know where you’re going to get out of this maze. Luckily, we have a map.”

“Are there other Avengers with you?”

“Iron man and Hulk are up top cleaning house,” Natasha answers. “Falcon is providing air support. We’ll see them once we’re back at the compound.”

They finally make it to what looks like the main level and from there they run outside where a quinjet is waiting. The light hurts Bucky’s eyes from all the months inside, so he closes them. When he opens them again, Steve is gently setting him down on one of the quinjet’s medical tables.

“We’re taking off now,” Clint yells from the cockpit. “The others will make it back their own way.”

“Noted,” Steve calls back. He starts strapping Bucky down for the ride.

“We’re free,” Bucky says quietly enough only Steve can hear him.

Steve lays a hand on Bucky’s stomach. “We all are.” Bucky looks down at Steve’s hand on him and tears threaten to come to his eyes. He smiles up a Steve and he hopes that conveys everything he’s feeling right now.

* * *

Back at the compound, which turns out to be a secret underground SHIELD facility, they take Bucky straight to the medical wing. They take X-rays of Bucky’s legs and then leave him to be debriefed by Nat and Clint.

“How long have we been gone?” Steve asks before they can start the questioning.

“Nearly two years,” Clint tells them. “Sorry it took us so long to get you. You two were hard to find.”

“Hydra kept no files on you both at any of the facilities we knocked down,” Natasha adds. “We finally caught a break when a scientist wanted to talk in exchange for his life.”

“Thank you guys for getting us out of there,” Bucky tells them earnestly. “You have no idea how much that means to us.”

“We have something to tell you,” Steve starts.

Bucky interrupts him immediately. “But, it can wait until all the Avengers get back.” Steve looks a Bucky confused, but he just says, “I don’t want to go through this twice.”

“Fine,” Steve says, “That’s a good idea.” He turns to Clint and Natasha. “How many Avengers are free?”

“You two were the last as far as we know,” Nat tells them. “Thor and Hulk were never captured. They freed Ironman, who helped free the rest. Vision and Wanda are missing, but we think they’re just holed up somewhere together. Thor went back to Asgard for something important. Clint and I have been out for about a year. We really only spent a few months as prisoners.”

“But that was enough,” Clint cuts in. “We were tortured every day during that time and we never saw each other. So what I want to know is why you two were in a cell together with very few to no signs of recent torture.”

“They tortured us enough,” Bucky spits back at him. Steve holds him back so they don’t get into anything, not that Bucky could get in a fight as crippled as he is.

“It will all become clear when we tell you our story,” Steve tries smoothing things over.

“Then maybe you want to do that sooner rather than later,” Clint them.

It’s Nat’s turn this time to hold Clint back. “They’ll tell us when they’re ready.”

“Fine,” Clint throws his hands up and storms out.

“He’ll come around,” Natasha tells them, and follows him out.

The doctor comes in soon after with the X-rays of Bucky’s legs. He introduces himself as Doctor Peters, and he explains to them that it looks just like Bucky said it would. The bones have healed, but since they weren’t set, they’ve healed in the wrong place. The only way to fix that is with surgery. Luckily they have some of the best surgeons on hand, and Bucky will be fine in no time. The doctor ends by asking if they have anything else they’ll like to tell him.

“Um, yes,” Bucky hesitates in tell him, but the doctor will need to know before the surgery. “I’m pregnant.”

The doctor looks genuinely surprised, but recovers quickly. “Well, I’m glad you told me. It will affect what medications we use during the surgery. And I guess we should check up on the little one. You mind if we do an ultrasound?”

Bucky smiles. “Please do,” he says. Steve hasn’t seen an ultrasound yet, so this will be a new experience for him.

“This will be a little cold,” the doctor warns before putting the gel on Bucky’s stomach.

“That’s fine,” Bucky says. “I’m just happy you’re not doing the invasive kind.”

“What do you mean?” Steve asks.

“Well,” Bucky says slowly, “For the first few months of both my pregnancies they stuck the wand up in there.”

“A trans-cloacal ultrasound?” The doctor asks. “That’s completely unnecessary.”

Bucky sighs. “Just Hydra assholes being assholes.”

Steve, next to him, looks ready to burst. “I’m going to tear them all a new hole and see how they like…”

“Hey look Steve,” Bucky distracts him with the ultrasound monitor, which is now displaying images.

“Holy shit,” Steve says as he slowly sits down on the stool next to Bucky’s bed. “Is that the baby?”

“Yeah, Steve. That’s what it looks like at this stage.”

“Would you like to know the sex of the baby?” the doctor asks.

“You can tell this early?” Steve asks awestruck.

Bucky takes a look at the monitor. “Is it a boy?” Bucky asks the doctor.

“You take all the fun out of my job,” the doctor jokes. “Yes, it’s a boy.”

“How can you tell?” Steve inquires. Bucky points to something on the monitor. “Oh, I see.”

Bucky laughs, and it’s the best sound he’s made in almost two years. He has the dopiest grin on his face from staring at Steve who’s absorbed in the monitor.

“He looks healthy,” the doctor states. “I’d say about 12-14 weeks.”

“That sounds right,” Bucky tells him.

“Would you two like a printout of the ultrasound?” he offers.

“Yes, please,” Steve calls out immediately. It just makes Bucky smile even harder.

“Can do,” the doctor replies. “I’ll have that ready for you in no time.” He removes the wand from Bucky’s stomach and cleans off the gel. “I’ll get started talking to Dr. Cho about the surgery, and I’ll make sure our anesthetist knows about your pregnancy.”

“Thank you, Dr. Peters,” Bucky tells him.

“I’ll be back in about an hour to discuss the surgery,” he says and with that he leaves Bucky and Steve alone.

Bucky looks up to Steve to see him still dumbfounded from the ultrasound. “How are you doing?” he asks Steve.

“I still can’t believe that tiny creature is our son,” Steve admits. “He’s so small, but you’re keeping him safe in there.” He puts a possessive hand on Bucky’s stomach.

“Now that we’re out,” Bucky starts, “We can raise him together.”

Steve turns his megawatt smile on Bucky. “Is that what you want to do?” he asks. “You don’t have to raise him with me.”

“Of course, I want to raise him with you,” Bucky says earnestly. “I told you before, but I’ll tell you again. I love you, and I couldn’t think of a better father for my children.”

Steve puts his arm around Bucky. “I love you too, Buck. And I would be privileged to raise our children together.”

“There’s just one problem,” Buck says seriously. “We need to find Faith.”

“We’ll talk to the Avengers,” Steve says. “They’ll help.”

“Will they?” Buck questions. “If you hadn’t noticed they’re fighting a war against Hydra right now. Is one little girl going to be at the top of their priorities?”

“Of course,” Steve protests. “They’re our friends, they’ll help if we just ask.”

“They left us down there long enough that Faith needs rescuing,” Bucky debates.

“They said they couldn’t find us,” Steve comes back with. “I trust them.”

“I don’t know,” Bucky says.

“There’s no harm in asking,” Steve states emphatically.

“I suppose,” Bucky agrees. “We won’t know until we try.”

Some time later Sam walks into the room, a few scrapes and bruises, but ultimately unharmed from the fight. “Sam!” Steve jumps up and gives him a big hug. “It’s been too long.”

“Yeah, dude, and that’s on us,” Sam admonishes himself. “Sorry, man.”

“It’s not your fault, Sam.” Steve tells him.

“It sure feels like it,” he says. He turns to Bucky. “Sorry about your legs man, I hope the docs get you fixed up right,”

“Where are the other Avengers?” Bucky asks, ignoring the platitudes.

“We do have something to ask everyone,” Steve says more politely.

“They said they’d be right behind me,” Sam says pointing to the door.

“And here we are,” Tony says brightly, opening his arms wide like he was on display. Trailing behind him are Bruce, Clint and Natasha.

“Ok,” Natasha says, “Everyone’s here.”

“You want to tell us that story of yours now,” Clint asks impatiently.

Bucky looks to lap. He doesn’t want to do this, but he needs to get it over with. “We have a favor to ask.”

“Oh, another one?” Tony remarks. “Getting you out of a Hydra prison wasn’t enough for you two.”

Nat hits him in the chest with the back of her hand. “Don’t be an ass, Tony. Let them speak.”

Bucky looks to Steve to take over, which he does. “We need your help to rescue our daughter from Hydra.”

The silence is deafening. Sam, always the one to try to break the tension, speaks first. “Since when do you have a daughter?”

“Uh, since about eight-nine months ago,” Bucky responds.

“You two did the nasty in jail?” Tony says to be crude.

“Well technically there was this mist, a pollen they called it,” Steve explains. “It forced our instincts to take over.”

“So that’s a yes?” Tony asks curious. Natasha smacks him in the chest again.

“Where is she now?” Bruce asks, always the voice of reason.

“If she wasn’t at the facility where you found us,” Steve tells them, “They we have no idea where she is.”

“We cleaned that place out good, and there was certainly no sign of a child.” Sam says.

“And I’ve got a copy of their servers, so we can start there,” Tony helpfully supplies.

“You mean you’ll help?” Bucky asks.

“Of course we will,” Natasha tell him. “Who do you think we are?”

“The Avengers,” Bucky says cheekily.

“Yes,” Sam says. “And Avengers help each other out. Especially if there is a little girl in the hands of Hydra.

“So that explains why you weren’t being tortured,” Clint probes, “But why was Steve unscathed?”

“Alpha Absence Syndrome,” Bucky admits. “I got it pretty bad last time.”

“Last time?” Clint asks. “Then that means…”

“You’re pregnant again,” Nat interrupts. “Aren’t you?”

Bucky nods and holds a protective hand over his belly.

“If Hydra’s trying to make their own supersoldiers, they wouldn’t stop with just one,” she explains to the rest of the group.

“Well, damn,” Bruce says. “I wasn’t expecting that one. Though you’re right, and I should have.”

“Is this sorry, or congratulations?” Clint asks.

Steve and Bucky look at each other. Bucky speaks for both of them. “We’re just glad Hydra didn’t have a chance to get their claws in him.”

“That sound like it’s good news to me,” Tony says. “Time to party.”

“Bucky can’t leave the medical wing, and I’m not leaving him,” Steve tells him.

“Then I’ll have a drink for you two, and another one for the baby,” Tony remarks. Steve rolls his eyes.

“We probably should let them rest,” Bruce announces.

“That means you too,” Natasha says as she points directly at Steve.

“There’s a chair here for me,” Steve replies.

“Whatever,” Nat says as she and the other Avengers pile out of the medical suite.

When they’re gone, Bucky turns to Steve. “You know, you can go sleep in a real bed. I’ll be fine here.”

“I don’t think I could sleep without knowing you’re safe.”

* * *

Bucky wakes up after the surgery a few days later to find Steve still by his side, though fast asleep by the sound of the snoring. He reaches to touch Steve to wake him up. Steve wakes up with a start, and smiles as soon as he processes that Bucky is awake.

“You’re up.” He smiles at Bucky and Bucky grins back sleepily. “Doc, he’s awake,” he calls to someone else in the room.

An Asian doctor he hadn’t noticed comes over to the bed. “Hello Sgt. Barnes,” she says. “I’m Dr. Helen Cho. I operated on you trying to fix your legs.”

“Trying? Did it not work?” Bucky worries.

Dr. Cho pauses before she continues. “I’m afraid your knees and feet were too badly damaged for a first pass. But we did what we could now, and as soon as you heal up we can go back in there and continue to fix the damage. We’re hopeful that we can repair the bones and ligaments, but we don’t know how many surgeries it will take.”

Bucky leans back on the pillows of his bed in disappointment. He needs to be out there looking for his daughter, not laid up in a hospital bed.

“It will be ok, Buck,” Steve says trying to comfort him. “You’ll walk again. It will just take a bit longer getting on back on your feet.”

“I need to go look for Faith,” Bucky says. “I can’t do that from here.”

“We don’t even know where she is or even where to start looking,” Steve reasons. “You’ll be up in no time and we can look together.”

“Hey Rogers,” Tony calls as he enters the room. “Got a possible lead on your kid, need you to come with.”

Bucky glares at Steve. So much for not having any intel on their daughter.

“What kind of lead?” Steve asks, apologizing to Bucky with this facial expression.

“Mention of a Project Faith on a Hydra datacore.” Tony turns to leave the room. “Come on, wheels up in thirty,” he says as he walks out not waiting for a response.

Steve turns to Bucky. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know they had a lead.”

“It’s ok,” Bucky says. “Even though I’m supremely frustrated that I won’t be joining you. Go get our daughter.”

“Wilco,” Steve says and leans down to brush a kiss on Bucky’s forehead.

Bucky spends the entire time the mission is going down staring at the wall. The nurses helpfully bring him some magazines to read, but he can’t focus on them. Not when Steve is risking his life without him to find their daughter.

When the door opens to reveal a staggering Steve with his combat outfit still on, Bucky’s worry only increases. “Faith?” he asks. Steve shakes his head and plops down on the stool next to the bed.

“We cleared out the base, but it looks like Project Faith was just a code name for something else. The scientists there didn’t know anything about her. Tony took the hard drives so he can search for more information, but it doesn’t look promising at the moment.”

Bucky sags in defeat, but his focus should be Steve right now. “Go wash up and get some sleep,” he says. “You look like you’re barely on your feet.”

“I wanted to come tell you right away.”

“Thank you for that,” Bucky says earnestly. “But now I want you to rest. In a real bed this time.”

“Ok,” Steve relents, showing how tired he is, “I’ll be back tomorrow.”

Steve comes back early the next day looking less tired but still depressed. Bucky guesses that not finding Faith was hard on him.

“Are you feeling any better?” Bucky asks him.

“I’ll be better when we find Faith,” he replies. Suspicion confirmed.

Steve takes his place next to Bucky’s right side when Natasha and Clint come in the room as well. “Hey guys,” Clint says as they get closer. He addresses Bucky. “I assume Steve filled you in last night. How are you taking the news?

“Better than I think Steve is,” Bucky replies. “He’s too hard on himself.”

“That’s for sure,” Natasha says. “You didn’t see him when he got the news our lead was faulty. He broke a lot of equipment. Thankfully it was Hydra’s and useless to us.”

“Steve,” Bucky admonishes. “You didn’t tell me that.” He grabs Steve’s hand and notices the wounds on his knuckles that should have healed by now unless they were really bad. “I don’t want you getting hurt.”

“It’s not that bad,” Steve tells him.

“It kinda was,” Clint contradicts him.

“Thanks, Clint,” Steve says through his teeth.

Bucky rubs the scabs on Steve’s hand. “We’ll find her,” he promises. Steve nods slowly like he’s trying to convince himself it’s true.

“We actually came here for a different reason,” Natasha breaks into the conversation. “We wanted to catch you up to speed on what’s been happening since you two have been gone.”

Natasha launches into a long explanation, but the gist of it is this: the world governments still mostly belong to Hydra, but they are losing power. Underground movements have popped up all over the world working to resist the new regimes. The Avengers, along with the remnants of SHIELD and other agencies around the globe, have been consistently knocking down Hydra bases. Each one they destroy gives them more intel on Hydra’s plans, giving them more targets to pursue. With their bases obliterated, Hydra is now on the defensive and their forces are being spread thin. There’s actual hope to win this war. The projections show the end of the war in just two or three years.

“You have all that intelligence but you can’t find Faith?” Bucky asks when she finishes speaking.

“It’s weird, actually,” she responds. “It’s like they are purposely keeping any mention of her off their servers. If you hadn’t told us she exists, we would never have known.”

“Which is why we had so much trouble finding you two,” Clint adds. “It was the same thing. No mentions of you in the databases. We feared you were dead.”

“So there’s no hope of finding our daughter?” Bucky asks dejectedly.

“Of course there’s hope,” Nat says. “We found you two, eventually.”

“But that took years,” Bucky shoots back. “I can’t stand the thought of Hydra having her for another minute.”

“We’ll find her, Bucky,” Nat tries to sooth him. “We’re doing everything we can, and we’ll catch a break sooner rather than later.”

“You better be right,” Bucky says, not quite believing her.

* * *

Several months and three surgeries later, Bucky is relearning how to walk in the physical therapy room when Steve comes home from his seventh mission to find Faith. Bucky doesn’t have to ask how it went; he can read the answer from Steve’s face. “No luck?” he asks.

“Not this time, I’m sorry, Bucky.”

“It’s not your fault,” Bucky assures him.

“How’s it going here?” Steve changes the subject. “You look like you were doing well.”

Bucky had been making it gingerly across the room with the aid of the parallel bars when Steve had come in. He can’t walk unaided yet, but the doctors assure him that it will only be a few weeks before he’s on his feet again.

He sits down on a bench with Steve’s help. “I’m just glad I can bend my knees again,” Bucky jokes. He’s had his legs kept strictly bound since they’ve arrived here, but the doctors say he’s healed enough to not only bend his knees and ankles, but start walking as well. “I had no idea it would take this long to get back on my feet.” He rubs his belly, which is now starting to stretch wide again with the new baby. “I don’t suppose you’ll let me in on any missions after I can walk again?”

“I know you want to help,” Steve answers, joining him on the bench, “But your job is to keep our son safe.”

Bucky puts a protective hand over his stomach. “I know, but that doesn’t make it easy to sit here and wait.”

“We’ll talk about it after you give birth,” Steve says. “Maybe we can tag team, switch off every other mission.”

“You don’t think we’ll find her before then?” Bucky asks worriedly.

Steve sighs. “We haven’t had much luck so far, but there’s no way to be sure.” Steve looks tired, as he has after every failed mission.

“Go back to the suite,” Bucky tells him. “Get some rest. I’ll come join you later.”

Steve perks up. “You will?”

“Yeah, doc cleared me to leave the medical wing. As long as you want me there, I’ll be there tonight.”

“Of course I want you there.” Steve leans in and kisses him tentatively. They haven’t had a chance to be very intimate since they got out of the Hydra prison, so they’re both a little shy about it. They also haven’t spoken about what their relationship means since they’ve been back. “I’ll see you at home then,” Bucky nods and Steve gets up to leave the room, giving him one more backwards glance as he goes.

“Well, wasn’t that sweet.” Bucky looks up to see Natasha standing in the door way on the opposite side that Steve left. The sneaky bastard had probably seen the whole thing and not said a word.

“What do you want, other than to tease me?” Bucky asks her.

“I don’t mean to tease,” she protests. “It really was sweet. I just want to know where this is going for you two.”

“And that is your business how?” he glares at her.

“It’s not, but I’m a curious woman. And I give good advice. Because as sweet as that was, it was also a little awkward. What’s going on? Are you fighting?”

“No,” Bucky relents, “We’re not fighting. Things are just a little strained since I’ve been in the medical wing for months. We haven’t spoken about what we are to each other.”

“I thought it was clear what you two meant to one another.” Nat says. “What’s the problem?”

Bucky sighs, resigned to tell her the whole story now. “We were never an item before we were Hydra’s prisoners. The first time we had sex was due to the pollen they dosed us with. It wasn’t our idea to have children together. So now the question is, are we really in love, or are we just together because we’re tied together through our children?”

“Wow. You’ve made a simple situation into something complicated,” Natasha tells him. “Do you love him?”

“I think I do,” Bucky admits.

“Then go to him, fuck like bunnies, and for god sakes bond already.”

“We can’t bond until my next heat, which won’t be until after the baby’s born.” Bucky replies.

“Fine, that will give you some time to talk about it, but you go fuck him tonight,” Nat says matter-of-factly.

“Nat, that’s none of your business,” Bucky protests.

“I’m making it my business. Because you two really need to get laid. Maybe it will stop you from being so broody all the time.”

“Natasha, our daughter is missing at the hands of Hydra. I think we have reason to be broody.”

“And if you have reason to be happy, maybe the two will cancel each other out and you’ll be normal.” Natasha sighs. “Just think about what I’ve said. You do deserve some happiness.”

“Sure, I’ll think it through, but I can’t promise anything.” Bucky gets up off the bench and makes it to his wheelchair. “I’m going to take a shower, because this conversation is over.”

He takes a long hot shower with Natasha’s words running through his mind. He’ll just go see Steve, and let things progress on their own. He’s not going to force it. That would be too uncomfortable.

He’s nervous by time he makes it to Steve’s front door. He knocks and Steve opens it in just a few seconds, like he was waiting for Bucky. There’s a big smile on his face as we welcomes Bucky in. Bucky rolls past him into the room and takes it all in.

The room is set up like a studio apartment. The bed is in the back corner, all neatly made up with military corners. In front of him is a couch set up before a modest size TV. Bucky rolls up to the couch stares at it like it’s done something wrong to him. It hasn’t, of course, he just wants to be on the couch, and can’t do it on his own.

Steve seems to sense the dilemma. “Would you like some help?” he asks. Bucky swallows his pride and nods. Steve, thankfully, doesn’t just pick him up, but puts an arm under Bucky’s shoulder and let’s Bucky do half the work himself. They get him set up on the couch and Steve nervously flits around offering him beverages and food.

“Come sit down, Steve,” Bucky says. “Stop worrying yourself. Just enjoy yourself.”

Steve complies and sits down with a smile. “It’s good to see you here instead of the hospital for a change.”

“It’s good to be out,” Bucky tells him. “I just wish it were sooner so I could have helped you look for Faith.”

Steve sighs. “It wouldn’t have mattered. They’ve hidden her well.”

“At least you wouldn’t have been alone,” Bucky says. “I see how drained you are when you come back from another unsuccessful mission. I don’t want you to go through that alone.”

“I’m not alone,” Steve reminds him. “I have you to come back to.” Steve brushes a hair out of Bucky’s face and leans in for a kiss. Bucky closes his eyes as Steve comes forward, but before he reaches him Bucky lets out an “oof” and he grabs his stomach. “What’s wrong?” Steve asks urgently.

“Nothing,” Bucky assures him, “Just the baby. He got me straight in the bladder.”

Steve looks down at Bucky’s growing stomach. “He’s kicking?”

“Yeah,” Bucky replies. “Do you want to feel?” Steve nods quickly and Bucky places Steve’s hand on his belly. They wait a moment in silence before another kick comes. Steve lights up like it’s Christmas.

Steve scoots closer and puts another hand on Bucky’s stomach. He smiles brighter every time there’s another kick. The little guy is really restless today. He finally settles down and Bucky realizes how close Steve is. He looks up into Steve’s eyes and smiles.

“He’s ours, Steve, and Hydra won’t be able to take him away.”

“Ours,” Steve repeats, and then he leans down to kiss Bucky, hands intertwined on Bucky’s stomach. Bucky frees one hand so he can place it on the back of Steve’s neck and encourage him to deepen the kiss. Soon they’re making out heavily and Bucky is moaning into the kiss. Steve tips him down on couch and covers his body with his own. They move together like they’ve been bonded for years.

Steve slips one hand under Bucky’s shirt and rubs the skin underneath. He stops kissing Bucky in favor of sucking the skin just underneath his jaw. Bucky reaches up and cups Steve’s growing erection and he moans into Bucky’s skin. Bucky smiles and keeps up the friction. “Bed,” Steve demands.

“Yes,” Bucky agrees. Steve climbs off Bucky and lifts him up into his arms. He carries him the short distance to the bed and deposits him onto it.

Steve wastes no time in removing his shirt and jeans so he’s left in only his boxers. “Your turn,” he growls at Bucky.

Bucky hesitates before he takes off his shirt. He’s been covering his big stomach with baggy shirts and he’s worried that Steve won’t find him attractive with how big he’s gotten. But one look at the lust in Steve’s eyes and he finds himself pulling off his shirt in one swift movement. He turns to unbuttoning his pants, and Steve helps him pull them off. Now they’re both down to their boxers and Steve climbs back on top of Bucky.

Steve kisses him again but leaves his hips far away. After a few minutes of this, Bucky gets impatient and pulls Steve down by his boxers and gets the friction he so desperately wants. He rolls them over so he can control the pace. He rolls his hips down over Steve over and over. Pretty soon he wants the cotton of their boxers to disappear so he kisses his way down Steve’s body until he reaches his hips. “Can I?” he asks as he plays with the fabric of the boxers.

“Please do,” Steve says lustily and puts his hands under his head. Bucky pulls the boxers off slowly, watching as Steve’s impressive Alpha cock springs free. The head is leaking pre-come and the sight of it makes Bucky’s slick flow a little faster. But he doesn’t remove his own boxers. This time he’s going to make sure Steve enjoys this as much as he does.

Bucky leans down and takes an experimental lick at the head of Steve’s dick. Steve groans and closes his eyes. Bucky licks again and watches Steve’s breath hitch. Next he closes he whole mouth over the head and sucks. Steve squirms, but doesn’t open his eyes. Bucky takes a little more in, but Steve is so big that he barely makes it halfway down. He closes his hands around the base and strokes as he bobs his head up and down. Pretty soon Steve is making incredible sounds and gripping the pillow beneath his head.

“Ah, Bucky, stop,” Steve cries out. Bucky stops all movement, but keeps his mouth covering the head of Steve’s Alpha dick. He looks up at Steve and gives an inquiring look. “I was getting too close. I want to be inside you when that happens. I want to knot you. Can I?”

Bucky licks one stripe down Steve’s slit and lets go. “I want you to,” Bucky whispers. Steve smiles brightly and sits up to meet Bucky in the middle of the bed. They kiss, and while they do, Steve lays Bucky down so that his head is at the foot of the bed. Steve stops kissing him long enough to get Bucky’s boxers off and he gives his dick a few quick strokes. Lightning flashes behind Bucky’s eyes. He’s gone too long without stimulation while being so hard. Steve lets go of his cock and puts Bucky’s legs on his shoulders. He lifts up Bucky’s hips and starts licking up all the slick that has been pouring out of his hole. He licks at Bucky’s balls, his perineum, and finally his open hole. He sticks his tongue in and adds a finger. Bucky isn’t sure this prep is necessary, but it sure feels nice.

“In me, now,” Bucky pants. Steve wastes no time and doesn’t even let go of Bucky’s legs before the head of his cock is pushing on Bucky’s hole. He guides it in with excruciating slowness. “I’m ready,” Bucky tells him, “Just start moving already.”

Without verbal warning, Steve complies. He thrusts in in one sharp movement that has his thighs slapping on Bucky’s ass. Bucky throws his head back in ecstasy as Steve keeps plowing into him, his own slick greasing the way for him. Steve changes pace back and forth suddenly from hard and slow to quick and shallow. Soon he can feel Steve’s knot beginning to fill.

“Wait,” Bucky says, which stops Steve in his tracks. “Wanna ride you,” he finishes.

Steve chuckles. “Whatever you want, baby.” Bucky groin pulses when he hears the word “baby.” Steve pulls out and lets Bucky’s legs down gently. He lies back on the pillows and lets Bucky climb on top of him. Bucky reaches down to grab Steve’s dick and line it up with his hole. Despite being wide open and dripping, he sinks down slowly. When he’s filled up he starts an easy pulse up and down.

Steve’s knot begins to swell again. It pushes against Bucky’s prostate and he can’t help the noises he makes. He starts moving faster, more erratically, chasing his release. Steve can’t seem to keep himself from thrusting up into Bucky, but Bucky can’t complain. It feels divine. Steve grabs Bucky’s cock and starts to pump it. Bucky doesn’t think he’ll need it from the way his prostate is being stimulated from the knot, but he doesn’t stop him. He just keeps moving in time with Steve.

His orgasm hits him with the force of a train, and he squeezes around Steve’s knot. The knot blows to its biggest proportion and locks them together. Steve’s seed shoots into Bucky’s body and fills him up. Bucky collapses on top of Steve and Steve holds him and rubs his back as they both catch their breaths.

Steve scoots to one side of the bed and gently rolls Bucky so that they are both on their sides while still tied together by the knot. The movement pushes the knot against Bucky’s sensitive prostate and he whimpers quietly. “It’s ok, baby,” Steve says, “I’ve got you.”

“Steve,” Bucky says. “I love you.”

“I love you too, sweetheart,” Steve responds.

Bucky feels comfortable enough in Steve’s arms to fall asleep right then and there.

* * *

“Why do you think we didn’t get together when we were younger?” Bucky asks Steve as they’re tied together after round two.

“I don’t know,” Steve answers, brushing a hair from Bucky’s sweaty face. “I was just blind I guess.”

“I’m serious,” Bucky tells him. “We were inseparable, but never once hooked up. It doesn’t really make sense.”

“I kinda figured you didn’t want an Alpha that was smaller than you,” Steve says seriously. “I might’ve kept away from you so you could find someone else.”

“What?” Bucky says in surprise. “Why would you do that?”

“You deserved the best,” Steve answers. “But it was true, wasn’t it? You never saw me as an acceptable Alpha until after the serum.”

“That’s not true!” Bucky exclaims. “Wasn’t I always telling you that you were a catch and you’d find someone one day.”

“Then why didn’t you want me?” Steve asks.

“I don’t know. We grew up together. After we both presented, I never saw us like that. It was too weird. But I never once thought that you were unacceptable as a mate. Geez, why would you think that?”

“I’ve still got all my old insecurities, Buck,” Steve says. “They didn’t go away with the serum. Even now I’m thinking in the back of my head that you only want to be with me because of the baby.”

Bucky cups Steve’s face on both sides and looks straight into his eyes as he speaks. “I want you. I’ve wanted you ever since I got back. I guess being tortured and turned into a weapon makes you realize the good things you had before. I love you, and that will never change.”

“If you’ve wanted me since you got back, why didn’t you say anything?” Steve asks.

“At first because I was recovering and wanted to focus on that. Then because I didn’t think I deserved you. After that, I was just scared you’d reject me. Remember, you’d never shown any outward interest in me. I didn’t want to ruin our friendship by confessing my feelings.”

“Aw, Buck, I’m sorry you felt that way,” Steve says as he draws Bucky in for a hug. “Looks like we’ve both been dumb idiots.”


	6. Chapter 6

Steve leaves for another mission. Bucky’s walking now, but it’s more of a waddle with how large he’s gotten. He still can’t join the Avengers on missions, but at least now he can kiss Steve goodbye.

“Alright, alright,” Tony protests. “We get it. You’re happy and in love. Can we get a move on now?”

Steve disengages from the kiss and leans his forehead on Bucky’s. “I’ll be back soon.”

“Call me if you find anything,” Bucky says.

“I’ll call you from the quinjet no matter what happens,” Steve promises. And then he’s gone.

Bucky sighs and starts making it back to his room. Pepper surprises him by coming over to him. “Would you like some company while we wait?” she asks.

“I would love that,” Bucky replies. They walk slowly back to the room Bucky shares with Steve in companionable silence. Once they get there, Bucky flops onto the couch as if his feet can’t hold him anymore. It might be true; his feet have only recently been pieced back together and now his ankles are swollen all the time.

“Please, make yourself at home,” Bucky tells Pepper. “I would get you some thing to drink, but…” he gestures down at himself. “Go ahead and raid the kitchen if you want something.”

“I think I’ll just grab some water,” Pepper says. “Would you like me to bring you anything?”

“Water would be perfect,” Bucky tells her. She goes to the kitchen and fills up two glasses of water, sets one down next to Bucky, and settles down on the couch opposite. “So what did you want to talk about?” Bucky asks.

“Just wanted to see how you were doing,” Pepper says. “I know how much you want to go out with the rest of the team. I understand that must be hard to be left behind.”

“They’re out there risking their lives searching for my daughter,” Bucky says. “Of course I want to be out there with them.”

“You know they aren’t _just_ looking for your daughter,” Pepper corrects. “They’re taking out Hydra bases to help win this war. It’s important work.”

“Even more reason to want to be out there,” Bucky says. “It’s frustrating being a near invalid when there is important work I could be doing instead. Don’t get me wrong, I love my son and I’m excited for the day I’ll get to meet him. But I hate feeling this helpless.”

“I hate being left behind too,” Pepper tells him. “I’ve got power and I should use it. But I’m not trained and I would just be a liability in the field.”

“What kind of power do you have,” Bucky inquires.

“I can breathe fire,” Pepper says nonchalantly.

“Wow,” Bucky replies. “That I was not expecting.”

Pepper laughs. “It’s not a particularly useful skill in combat unless you know what you are doing. I only understand the power enough to keep it contained. If I let it loose, I’m afraid I could hurt somebody.”

“Hurting somebody is kind of the point in a fight,” Bucky reminds her.

“Another reason I shouldn’t be in a fight,” Pepper says. “I don’t like the idea of hurting anybody.”

“Alright, so you don’t really want to be out there,” Bucky says. “So you’ve got the secret to staying home while your loved ones risk their lives. So spill. What’s the secret?”

“Number one,” Pepper lists, “Keep yourself distracted. That’s why I came to talk to you.”

“I see,” Bucky says, “You had ulterior motives. You just came here to distract yourself”

“I’m keeping us both distracted,” Pepper tells him. “Number two is reminding yourself they’ve come back alive every time so far, so the odds are good they’ll come home again.”

“We got captured once, it could happen again,” Bucky counters.

“Do you want my advice or not,” Pepper scolds him.

“Sorry,” Bucky tells her, “My brain just likes to seek out the worst case scenario.”

“Then let’s go back to number one, distraction,” Pepper says. “How’s the baby?”

Bucky puts his hands on his belly. “Got a month to go but I already feel like I’m about to pop. He’s going to be huge. And strong if the force of his kicks are any indication. Damn kid always seems to aim for my bladder too.”

Pepper laughs kindly. “I can see you really love him.”

Bucky rubs his stomach and smiles. “I really do. He might not have been my idea, but now I’m happy to have him. I can’t wait until I meet the little guy.”

“Have you decided what to name him?” Pepper asks.

Bucky shakes his head. “I named the last one, it’s Steve’s turn. Plus, I kind of have this superstition that you shouldn’t name your child until after they’re born.” Bucky doesn’t want to think about the reasoning for that, so he changes the subject. “Ever thought about having one of your own?” he asks Pepper.

“Oh, no,” Pepper responds. “I’ve been way too busy to raise a family. And now, with the war, I couldn’t face the idea of bringing a child into a world Hydra controls.” She looks at Bucky and realizes what she just said. “Of course, now that we’re winning, that’s less of a concern.”

“Don’t worry yourself,” Bucky says. “I know the world that’s going to meet my child when he’s born. My daughter is sucked up in it right now. But we’re going to find her, and we’re going to win this war. I’ll protect my children, whatever it takes.”

Pepper looks speechless. She starts fumbling for words when she’s saved by the ringing of Bucky’s phone.

“Steve?” Bucky asks, though he’s seen the caller ID.

“Hey, honey,” he sounds tired and weary. “We’re back safe in the quinjet now.”

“Any sign of Faith?” He knows Steve hasn’t found her or he would have led with that.

“Actually, yes.” Bucky perks up as Steve continues. “Tony says there is a trace of her whereabouts on the computer hard drive, but it’s been deleted. He says JARVIS can reconfigure the file or something like that, but it’s going to take time.”

“That’s great news,” Bucky says.

“Well, we don’t know what’s going to be on that file yet,” Steve warns. “It might turn out to be nothing.”

“If your next sentence is don’t get your hopes up, you can shove it. This is the first piece of good news we’ve had in months. I’m getting my hopes up.”

Steve laughs. “Alright, sweetie, I won’t stop you.”

“Thanks,” Bucky says. “How long ‘til you get back?”

“Clint says five hours.”

“Then try to get some rest on the trip back,” Bucky tells him. “You sound exhausted.”

“I’ll try,” Steve promises. “See you soon,” he says and the line goes dead.

Bucky turns back to Pepper, who he almost forgot was in the room. “That was Steve. They’re all safe and on they’re way back now.”

“Thank god,” Pepper says.

“Yeah. Now if you don’t mind, I’m going to try to take a nap before Steve get’s back.” Bucky tells her.

“Of course,” she says. “I’ll get out of your hair.”

* * *

Bucky is still asleep when Steve comes home. After being kept up by the kicking baby for hours, he only really drifted off a little while ago. But he wakes at the sound of Steve coming in. Steve, seeing the light is off, tries to be quiet.

“I’m awake,” Bucky mumbles. “You don’t have to be quiet.”

“You sound tired,” Steve counters. “Let’s just go back to sleep.” He crawls into bed behind Bucky and puts his arms around him.

Bucky yawns. “Sounds like a plan,” he says and then drifts off to sleep.

He wakes up at four in the morning without knowing what woke him up. Steve is still spooning him and snoring softly. Assuming it was a kick from the baby that disturbed his sleep, he tries to drift off again. The next time it happens his eyes shoot open. That was no kick from the baby.

“Steve!” Bucky calls urgently, shaking Steve a little. “Wake up.”

Steve wakes up slowly and rubs the sleep from his eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“You need to take me to medical, right now,” Bucky says, panic in his voice.

Steve sits up straight when he hears this. “Why? What’s wrong?”

“I’m having contractions,” Bucky tells him.

“What?” Steve asks. “I thought we were still a month out.”

“That’s why you need to take me to medical now,” Bucky tells him. “It’s too early.”

Steve wastes no time in picking him up and heading straight for the elevator. Bucky could probably walk, but they both know this is faster. The ride to the medical wing feeling like forever, especially when Bucky has another contraction.

“Should they be coming so fast?” Steve asks

“They shouldn’t be coming at all,” Bucky says. “It’s too early for the baby.”

The elevator doors finally open and Steve bolts into the medical wing. “I need help,” he yells. “I need a doctor. An obstetrician.”

A nurse comes running in. “What’s the problem?”

“Bucky’s going into labor a month too early,” Steve tells her.

Another nurse comes in with a gurney and has Steve lay Bucky down on it. “We’ll take him straight to obstetrics. We’re paging Dr. Lee as we speak.”

“Can I come?” Steve asks.

“Of course,” the nurse replies. Steve takes his place at Bucky’s right side and holds his hand as they wheel the gurney down the hall.

“I’m scared,” Bucky says. “I’m scared for the baby.”

“It’s going to be alright,” Steve assures him, but his statement is punctuated by another contraction.

They bring him into a room in the obstetrics wing and transfer him the bed there. They hook him up to monitors and soon beeping fills the room. A nurse listens to a stethoscope that is placed on Bucky’s belly. “Your child has a healthy heartbeat,” the nurse tries to comfort him. “There’s no need to worry.”

“But it’s too early,” Bucky protests.

Dr. Lee, their obstetrician, comes into the room. He confers with the nurses and reads Bucky’s patient file. Soon he comes over to Bucky and speaks directly to him. “It looks like you’ve gone into labor early.”

“Can you stop it?” Bucky asks hopefully.

“I’m afraid not. The baby has turned and your water has broken. He’s ready to come out now. Trying to stop it would only hurt him at this point.”

“But isn’t he too young to survive?” Bucky asks.

“Absolutely not,” Dr. Lee tells him. “He’s only 4 weeks premature. Modern medicine is a great thing. I’ve had preemies much younger than that survive easily. There is some risk, of course, but your son has a much greater chance of surviving than dying.”

“What if I just don’t push?” Bucky says. There are tears lining his face now.

“Than you’ll likely kill your son, and yourself along with him. I would absolutely not recommend that,” the doctor says gravely.

“Bucky, listen to the doctor,” Steve says. “You have to push when it’s time.” Poor Steve looks so concerned; Bucky almost forgets that he wasn’t there for the first birth.

“Ok,” Bucky relents. “The contractions seem to be coming faster than last time. Is that normal?”

“Second children usually do come faster than the first,” Dr. Lee assures him. “It’s nothing to worry about.” He pulls up a stool at the end of Bucky’s bed and starts putting Bucky’s feet in the stirrups. “I’m just going to take a look to see how far along you are.”

Bucky closes his eyes when the speculum goes in. He’s trying not to remember being tied to the stirrups in the Hydra prison. He grips Steve’s hand, finding comfort in the fact that he’s here.

“You’re much further along than I thought you’d be,” Dr. Lee tells him. “The baby is likely to come in the next hour or two.”

“So soon?” Steve asks. He’s been reading all the baby books and he expected a longer time spent in labor.

“I guess the little guy is really eager to come on out.” Dr. Lee jokes.

The next hour is filled with tests for both Bucky and the baby. The nurses keep assuring him that everything is fine. Either they do this for all expecting Omegas or he must still have a look of panic on his face. Steve looks like he’s a little in shock at the flurry of activity happening around him. Bucky reaches out his hand, and though he has a pulse monitor on his finger, he finds a way to hold Steve’s hand.

“Can you promise me, Steve, that you’ll stay with the baby?” Bucky asks.

“What do you mean?” Steve inquires.

“They said they might have to take him to the NICU when he’s born. I don’t want to let him out of my sight, but I’ll feel better if you stay with him. Don’t let them take our baby.”

“No one is going to take our child this time Buck, I swear.” Steve tells him.

“Rationally, I know,” Bucky says. “But I would feel better if you stayed with him. Please, just give me this.”

“I’ll stay with him,” Steve promises.

“Thank you.” Bucky smiles up at Steve and Steve grips his shoulder with his free hand.

Dr. Lee comes back to check on Bucky’s progress. Bucky knows from experience that it’s almost time. His contractions have been getting closer together and the need to bear down is almost overpowering.

“Alright,” the doctor says, “You’re at 10 centimeters. It’s time to start pushing on the next contraction.”

Bucky almost starts crying right there. He’s still so scared for the baby. What if he can’t survive being born this early? Then Bucky will have failed him.

“What’s wrong baby?” Steve asks with concern in his voice.

Bucky addresses the doctor. “Are you sure he’s old enough to survive the birth?”

“There’s risk in every birth,” Dr. Lee tells him. “But you child looks and sounds healthy. There’s every reason for him to survive. I promise you the chances are good. Real good.”

“Ok,” Bucky says. “Let’s do this.”

On the next contraction, Bucky gives in to the need to push. He bears down with all his strength. He remembers how to do this. But with the early birth, it’s no less terrifying than the last time he did this. At least this time he has Steve.

Steve, who has been trying to calm Bucky down this whole time, now looks terrified. The way that Bucky is clenching his hand probably isn’t helping matters, but the poor man has all the concern of a first time father etched on his face.

“He’s crowning,” Dr. Lee calls out a just a few more pushes later. “This kid is coming fast. Just one more big push ought to do it.”

Steve looks like he wants to go see, but he’s still connected to Bucky’s clenched hand. Bucky makes himself let go and gestures for Steve to go look. “Go on, I know you want to.”

“Would you like to catch the baby?” the doctor asks Steve.

Steve looks startled. “You’ll let me do that?”

Dr. Lee chuckles. “Of course. But you’ll have to give him to the nurses to get cleaned up afterwards.”

“Is that ok Bucky, that I catch him?” Steve asks.

“Of course, I want you to,” Bucky says quickly before the next contraction hits and he has to push. Steve quickly joins the doctor at the end of the bed. Bucky pushes one last time and sees Steve duck his head between his legs. Suddenly a loud wailing cry sounds throughout the room. Bucky drops his head back on the pillow and smiles. His baby boy sounds like he’s got a healthy set of lungs.

“He’s beautiful, Bucky,” Steve tells him.

Bucky looks up to see the nurses taking the baby from Steve. “Stay with him,” he reminds Steve.

“I promise,” Steve says a little dopily as he follows the nurses to a table in the far corner of the room. Their boy is still screaming his head off, and it’s the most beautiful sound he’s every heard. Bucky let’s himself close his eyes. He so bone tired. “Uh, should there be that much blood?” he hears Steve asking.

Dr. Lee, a very straightforward man, simply says, “No.”

“What?” Steve panics and Bucky forces himself to open his eyes. He looks down to see the table below him is soaked in blood. Oh, he thinks, that’s not good. “What’s going on?” Steve panics again.

“He’s hemorrhaging, but I’ve seen this before. It’s nothing to worry about. I just need to pinpoint the source of the bleeding.” A few more nurses come into the room and start assisting the doctor.

“Sir,” a nurse across the room says to Steve, “We’re going to take your son to the NICU now for observation.”

Steve looks torn between following his child and staying with Bucky. “Stay with him,” Buck pleads. “You promised.”

“Ok, ok,” Steve grabs a fistful of his own hair as he tries to calm down. “I’ll stay with him. I promise I won’t let him out of my sight.” And with that he follows the nurses out of the room.

The bustle around Bucky, however, doesn’t slow down. The doctor is speaking with the nurses in hushed tones. It’s all medical jargon anyway and Bucky can’t understand. He lays his head back down and closes his eyes. Before he knows it he feels like he is drifting off to sleep.

“James, wake up,” a voice coming from his side yells at him. He opens his eyes to see Natasha standing next to him.

“Nat? What are you doing here?” he croaks.

“Steve yelled at me to look after you as he was running off to the NICU with your son,” Natasha explains. “Congrats by the way. Now don’t die.”

“Ok, ma’am,” he jokes, but it comes out softer than he meant it. He’s having a hard time keeping his eyes open too.

He closes his eyes, and the next time he opens them he knows time has passed. He lifts his head up a little and looks around. The doctors have gone and Natasha is sitting in the armchair next to his bed. She gets up when she sees he’s awake. “How are you feeling?” she asks him.

“Tired,” he replies. “What happened?”

“You were bleeding too much after the birth, so they took you to surgery,” Natasha tells him. “Do you remember any of that?”

“No,” he answers. “Is my son ok?”

“Steve’s still with him, just like he promised,” Nat responds. “He called me and told me your son is strong and healthy. He’ll be out of the NICU in just a few days.”

Bucky smiles. “Good.” He closes his eyes again, exhaustion still overpowering him. He can’t be concerned over his own health when his son is still in danger. Hearing that he’ll likely be ok has Bucky drifting off again with a smile still on his face.

The next time he wakes it’s to someone holding his right hand. He opens his eyes to find Steve looking at him with concern. “You’re supposed to be with our son,” Bucky croaks out admonishingly.

“Natasha took over for me,” Steve tells him. “You trust her don’t you? I think she can handle anyone who might try to come for him.”

“She sure can,” Bucky agrees. “Did you name him yet?”

Steve smiles widely. “Connor. A good Irish name.”

“Connor,” Bucky tries it out. “I like it. How is he doing?”

“Really good, Buck,” Steve says. “The doctors say he’ll be out of the NICU in no time. I’ll bring him to you as soon as I can.”

“How I am doing?” Bucky asks quietly. “No one has told me.”

Steve looks sad. “They stopped the bleeding, but you lost a lot of blood. You’re going to be fine though. You’ve had a transfusion and they say you’re recovering nicely.”

Bucky doesn’t know why, but he suspects that Steve isn’t telling him everything. But he’s too tired to argue, so he lets it go. His eyes start drooping again, and Steve tells him to get some sleep. He falls back into sleep quickly.

He wakes a few more times to find that Steve has gone back to watch over Connor, and Natasha has been keeping watch on him. He still can’t stay awake for more than a few minutes at a time and doesn’t get much information out of Nat when he’s conscious. He gathers that Connor is doing well, better than him likely.

Bucky wakes up next to the wailing cry of a baby. He struggles to come to full consciousness and open his eyes, but when he does, he’s greeted by the sight of Steve trying to comfort a baby. He’s rocking the child up and down on his shoulder and rubbing his back. Bucky smiles and clears his throat to get Steve’s attention.

Steve whirls around to face him and gives Bucky a megawatt smile. “You’re awake,” he states. Bucky nods, but the motion leaves him a bit dizzy. Steve doesn’t seem to notice. “I brought someone who wants to meet you,” Steve says with that smile still plastered on his face. He brings the still wailing child down into his arms and holds up his head. “Connor, meet your dad.”

Tears come to Bucky’s eyes at the sight of his child. “He’s healthy?” he asks while blinking away the tears.

Steve nods. “Brought him out of NICU this morning. Sorry he woke you. He’s clean and well fed, I don’t know what’s making him cry like this.”

“Maybe he’s just tired,” Bucky suggests. “Why don’t you lay him down and see if he’ll sleep?”

“Worth a try,” Steve says. But instead of putting him in the bassinet, Steve lays the baby down next to Bucky.

“What are you doing?” Bucky asks.

“I figure he could use some time with his dad,” Steve answers. As he says it, Connor starts to calm down. Within a minute he’s dead quiet. Bucky reaches over with his right hand and puts his arm around his son. The little boy grasps one of his fingers and promptly falls asleep.

Bucky can’t help but start crying right then and there. His child is in his arms, not a prisoner of Hydra. He tries to keep it contained so Connor can sleep, but soon large sobs are pouring out of him. This tiny frail creature is his responsibility to protect now, and that’s the only thing that matters. He’s so happy he could burst.

Steve looks concerned though. “Hey baby, are you ok?”

“I’m perfect,” Bucky manages to get out through the sobs. He reigns himself in for Steve’s sake, taking a few deep breaths to calm himself down. “I’m just so happy,” he explains when he’s got himself under control. “But maybe you should take him before I fall asleep again.”

“No worries,” Steve says, smiling again. “I’ll watch out for you both. If you start to drift off, I’ll put Connor in the bassinet. Until then, I want you two to bond.”

Bucky smiles up at him. “Thank you, Steve.” He looks down again at the sleeping child and starts tearing up again. Suddenly a thought strikes him. “You said he wouldn’t be out of the NICU for several days. What changed?”

“Nothing,” Steve says cautiously. “It’s been several days since then. You haven’t been awake very often the last few days.”

“What’s wrong with me?” Bucky asks him.

“You lost a lot of blood,” Steve tells him.

“You’ve said that already,” Bucky says angrily. “There’s more, isn’t there?”

Steve looks down at the floor before responding. He sits down on the stool next to the bed and brushes the light hairs on Connor’s head. “You lost so much blood, the doctors say you wouldn’t have survived if it weren’t for the serum. They took you into surgery to stop the bleeding, but it took them a while to find the source. They…” he pauses. “I’m so sorry, Bucky, but they had to take your uterus.”

Bucky turns his head. He suddenly finds himself tearing up for a wholly different reason. He turns back to face Steve. “Thank you for telling me.” He looks down at the sleeping child in his arm. “I suppose two is enough, don’t you think.”

He looks up at Steve to see the man is tearing up as well. “Yeah, Buck, I don’t think we could handle more than two. Don’t want them outnumbering us do we.” They’re both ignoring the fact that they currently only have one child in their possession. That’s only temporary. They’ll get Faith back and Connor will have an older sister.

When Bucky stops crying, he blinks and finds himself exhausted. “Steve, take Connor,” he says. “I’m going to pass out again soon.” Steve does what he asks, and gently picks up Connor and places him in the hospital bassinet. Connor doesn’t wake and keeps sleeping when he’s laid down.

Bucky struggles to keep his eyes open, but he can’t manage to do it. Soon he’s drifting off again, safe in the knowledge that Steve and Connor are by his side.

* * *

A few days later and Bucky is allowed to leave the medical wing. Steve pushes him in a wheelchair while he holds the baby. Being a new parent makes him nervous. He’s still worried he’s going to crush Connor’s tiny body, especially with his metal arm. That arm was made for killing, not nurturing children. It doesn’t matter that he has good control over it and would never accidently hurt someone, he still feels like it’s wrong to hold a child in it.

Steve, of course, thinks he’s overreacting. Though he hasn’t exactly won awards for best new parent. He gets frazzled every time Connor cries and isn’t attuned yet to what he wants. Steve’s read all the parenting books he could get his hands on, but he’s still worried he’s going to do something wrong.

So basically, they’re like every new parent ever.

When they get back to their rooms, Bucky gets out of the wheelchair, but doesn’t make it far. He’s still unsteady on his feet, so he plops on the couch, a sleeping Connor still in his arms. “Can you put Connor in his crib?” he asks Steve.

“Sure thing, Buck,” he answers. Steve comes over and takes the sleeping child. Bucky lets his head fall back on the sofa. He’s exhausted. He could take a nap right here. “They said we’d be tired with a new baby, but damn,” Steve says after seeing Bucky with his eyes closed and leaning his head back on the furniture. “Let’s take a nap, in bed,” he suggests.

“I don’t want to move,” Bucky complains.

“You don’t have to,” Steve says and promptly picks Bucky up and heads towards the bedroom.

“Hey!” Bucky shouts. “What are you doing?”

“Accommodating you,” Steve answers. “You’ve got to be more exhausted than I am. You’re still recovering. You need to sleep in a real bed, not pass out on the couch.”

“Fine,” Bucky relents. “I’m too tired to argue anyway.” Steve lays him down on the bed softly and he only just kicks off his shoes before falling asleep.

He wakes up to the sound of Steve talking to someone in the living room. He gets up to investigate, careful not to wake the baby. He walks out into the main room to find Steve and Natasha whispering in low tones. Steve gets up when Bucky enters the room and looks ready to catch him if needed. Bucky feels stronger than he did before his nap, so he waves Steve off.

Steve sits back down on the couch and makes room for Bucky to join him. “I hope we didn’t wake you, babe,” Steve says, putting a hand on Bucky’s knee.

“No,” Bucky assures him. “It was time to get up anyways. What’s going on? You look like you were talking about something important.”

It’s Natasha who answers him. “We have some credible intelligence on where they might be keeping Faith.”

“That’s great news,” Bucky says. He looks at both their faces and changes his mind. “Isn’t it?” he asks.

“It’s a highly defended base,” Natasha explains. “If we go in, we’re going to need the whole team.”

“Oh,” Bucky says, finally seeing where this is going. “You need Steve.”

“I don’t want to leave you so soon after you’ve gotten out of the hospital,” Steve says with concern in his voice.

“No, it sounds like they really need you,” Bucky responds. “And if there is anything that gives us a better chance of getting our daughter back, we need to take it.”

Steve sighs. “I know, you’re right.” He puts his arm around Bucky. “I don’t want to leave you and the baby, but this is important.”

“We’ll send Pepper down here to help you out while Steve is gone,” Nat assures him. “But we need to get moving as soon as possible. We leave in two hours.”

“I’ll be there,” Steve agrees and walks Natasha to the door.

Nat stops in the doorway before she leaves and turns to talk to Bucky. “This is the best intelligence we’ve had so far. We really think she’s at this base. We’ll find Faith.” Without waiting for a response she turns and leaves.

“You really think you’ll find her?” Bucky asks with hope in his voice.

Steve comes back to the couch and puts his arms back around Bucky. “The files we have make direct mention of her. And it was backed up by one of the scientists we captured. This is the best lead we’ve had by far.”

“But it’ll be dangerous. Nat said it was well fortified.”

“The whole team will be there. We’ll get her out safe,” Steve assures him.

“Call me the second you’re able,” Bucky commands.

“Of course, Buck,” Steve agrees.

Connor doesn’t wake before Steve has to leave. He kisses his hand and reaches into the crib to lightly touch the child’s forehead, and then he leaves.

Bucky isn’t alone for long before Pepper joins him. They spend most of their time in companionable silence, Bucky being too tired to keep up conversation. When Connor wakes she helps him feed and change him. They just get him back to sleep when then phone rings. Bucky makes a jump for it, his hands shaking a little as he answers the call. “Steve?”

“We have her,” Steve says as greeting.

“W-what?” Bucky eloquently responds.

“We found Faith,” Steve repeats. “I’m holding her right now.”

Bucky starts crying and has to wave Pepper off when she starts looking concerned. “How is she?” he asks.

“She’s perfect. They haven’t harmed her,” Steve tells him. “She’s gotten so big.”

“Next to premature Connor, I’m sure she looks huge,” Bucky says.

“She can crawl too,” Steve informs him. “We’ll have to baby proof the whole apartment.”

“That’s a good problem to have,” Bucky cries a bit harder. “When can I see her?”

“Clint’s taking me straight back while the others clean up. We’re only an hour out, maybe less.”

“I’ll meet you on the tarmac,” Bucky says.

“You can wait in the compound, Bucky.”

“Ok, but I’m waiting right by the doors.”

An hour later Bucky is waiting by the compound doors, jumping up whenever he hears something that could be the quinjet. Pepper is keeping Connor distracted in his carrier, and Bucky is extremely grateful for her.

Finally, the unmistakable sound of the quinjet sounds outside the doors. Steve comes in with a megawatt smile and a child in his arms. Bucky jumps up and throws himself at Steve, careful of the baby in his arms. He pulls back just enough to get a look at the child. “This is Faith?” Bucky asks and Steve nods. “She’s gotten so big.”

Steve gives him and “I told you so” look. “Do you want to hold her?”

“Absolutely,” Bucky replies. He carefully takes Faith from Steve, and she goes willingly. She’s alert and curiously looking at everything. “Hi, Faith,” Bucky says to her. “We’re your parents.” In response she clings to Bucky’s shoulder and lays her head down. Bucky turns back to Steve, who can’t stop smiling. “Thank you for finding her.”

“It was going to happen eventually,” Steve says. “I told you, you just gotta have faith.”

“And now we do,” Bucky replies.


End file.
